Page 123 of Truck Me
She walks past me when I open the door and moves at a snail’s pace as she exits the back patio and onto the ground.
Taking a long pull from my beer, I stand there wondering how I let things get this bad. My life wasn’t all that great before Charlotte moved home. In fact, I’d say it was pretty shitty. I was grouchy all the time and lonely as fuck.
For a short while, she changed all that.
She brought the sun into my otherwise gloomy life.
She made me smile when I didn’t think I had anything worth smiling about.
She made me feel like a man worth knowing.
And she accepted me for exactly who I am. There was no trying to change me into something I’m not or telling me there was something wrong with me because I’m such a grumpy shit all the time.
Sometimes I got the impression she liked my grumpy attitude. Or at least she didn’t mind it.
When I’d heard she left town, it felt like I’d swallowed jagged rocks and they were stuck in my gut.
She’s running from me, and I hate it.
A part of me wants to tear this town apart until someone tells me where she’s staying so I can chase after her. I’d get down on my hands and knees and beg her for forgiveness.
Not that I deserve her forgiveness. I wouldn’t blame her if she never spoke to me again after the secret I kept from her.
Bullet nudges my leg, dragging me out of my thoughts. “You done?”
She lets out a single bark in response.
“Come on, let’s go find some dinner.”
Heading back inside, I give her some fresh water and food. Once she’s situated, I grab the mail I’d tossed on the table and flipped through it. My hands freeze on a plain white envelope from ChoiceDNA, the lab we sent our samples to.
I don’t know how long I stand there staring at it, unable to move. It feels like the world around me stopped moving and all sounds ceased to exist. All I can hear is the pounding of my heart.
A part of me wants to rip it open and find out the truth, and another part is terrified of the answer. I want Rayne to be mine. I’ve lived the past ten years of my life under the assumption that she belongs to me. I’m not sure I’ll recover if she’s not.
Deciding I can’t do this by myself, I stuff the envelope into my back pocket and head out the front door. I need my family for this. I can’t face it alone.
* * *
Grams and Liam are the only ones home when I enter the main house. Grams is making dinner and Liam is rewiring one of Grams’ old lamps. The woman has more lamps than anyone I know, half of which don’t work.
“Hey.” Liam furrows his brows. “You okay?”
I shake my head. “I got the results today.”
Grams drops the spoon she was holding onto the counter and Liam carefully places the light fixture on the table.
“And?” he asks.
“I don’t know.” The words rush out of me. “I’m afraid to look at them.”
He wipes his hands on the towel he has flung over his shoulder and nods. “I can understand that, but I thought you wanted to know the truth.”
“I do,” I say a little too loudly. “But what if this piece of paper says she’s not mine?” I hold the envelope out in front of me and shake it. “I’ve lived the past ten years functioning as if I’m her father. I don’t think I can’t handle it if I’m not.”
Liam steps up to me and takes me by the shoulders. “I get it. I really do. I’d be stressed out too if I was in your shoes. I can’t imagine the hell of living my life assuming someone was mine, only to find out he or she wasn’t. But that piece of paper could just as easily confirm that she is yours.”
I nod. I know he’s right, but it’s not enough to ease my frazzled nerves.