Page 37 of Psycho Saints

She nodded. "Just promise me you'll be careful, okay? These guys might be treating you like a princess now, but they're still dangerous."

I reached out and squeezed her hand. "I know, Noms. I haven't forgotten what they're capable of. I just don't think they'll ever direct it at me again."

It was stupid to believe such a thing. People could keep things from you, wear masks, but I'd seen every side of them. I'd killed with their help, and they'd done dark things for me. For some insane reason, I truly did feel like Tyrone and Julian would never do me wrong again.

Cristian was the only wildcard, and it pained me that I couldn't fully trust him, especially since he was trying so hard. He knew he'd done wrong, and he'd tried to explain his broken brain to me. I couldn't fault him fully for it.

Noms shook her head, a wry smile on her face. "Only you, Scar. Only you could make three psychos fall in love with you."

As we laughed together, I felt a weight lift from my shoulders. Noms might not fully understand or approve of my situation, but she was still here, still supporting me. And in this new, dangerous world I'd entered, that meant everything.

Noms quirked an eyebrow at me, a mischievous glint in her eye. "Have you tried ordering them around yet? Might be fun to see how they'd react."

I chuckled, imagining the looks on their faces if I suddenly started barking commands. I'd started getting more firm with Cristian, and he was oddly submissive now. Then again, he was sure to be dominant when he wanted something, although he was never cruel anymore. "You know, I haven't really. But now that you mention it, I'm tempted to give it a shot when I get home."

"Do it," Noms urged, grinning. "I want all the juicy details."

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help smiling. I could just picture Tyrone's face if I were to order him to do something for me. He'd probably lift me up and fuck me senseless, telling me to remember my place, and that I'm his. He'd shown that if I asked nicely, he'd do it. Commanding would not go down well I'd imagine.

Shaking off the thought, I changed the subject. "How's Ray doing? Has he said anything about... you know, everything?" I'd updated Noms on the phone in our calls, which were more frequent and for longer times now. Tyrone had stated after our night on the dining table that I was to consider myself more of a free woman in ways, and could make my calls. I didn't doubt they'd still be monitoring them, for safety, of course.

Noms' smile faded slightly. "He's still pretty pissed, Scar. After what they did to him, I don't think he's gonna be on board with all this anytime soon."

I sighed, feeling a pang of guilt. "I know it's fucked up, but it's just…" I let the sentence hang, not having anything to really use to defend them with. Ray had gotten stabbed because of them proving a point. Something he wasn't about to forget. And once I'd started to sway in their favor, he'd spoken to me a lot less. It was one thing being their captive, another thing to choose to stay and be with them.

Which I was ultimately doing with all of this.

Noms sighed, her expression softening. "Give him time. He'll come around eventually. You two have been through too much together for him to stay mad forever. He thinks of you as family. He may never forgive them, but he'll forgive you, I think."

We fell silent for a moment, the gentle hum of the salon filling the air. Noms watched me carefully, then asked, "How are you feeling, by the way? Any... you know, symptoms?"

I knew what she was getting at. The possibility of pregnancy had been lurking in the back of my mind. "I'm not sure," I admitted. "I've been so caught up in everything else, I haven't really paid attention."

"Haven't paid attention or haven't wanted to know?" she asked, knowing me all too well.

I just chewed my cheek as she clicked her tongue.

"Have you taken a test yet?"

I shook my head, knowing it was stupid that I hadn't. It was around the time my period would be due, and I'd not had an inkling of their presence. "No, I haven't. Maybe I should, though."

"Definitely worth doing, hun. This whole situation… pregnancy is the big thing. If you're not, you plan on staying with them, don't you? You've embraced this?" She studied me, already knowing my answer. Sometimes she knew me just too damn well.

"It's messed up, isn't it," I said softly. "That I do want to stay, to have their baby, to be a part of this."

"Scar, look at the pair of us. Normal lives were never in the cards, we're too unstable for that shit," she said with a chuckle, but then her face became serious. "I just hope you've thought a lot about it."

"You think I haven't?" I scoffed, and she rolled her eyes.

"I know you probably sat up at night dwelling on it, overthinking every possible scenario," she shot back. "And this is the decision you've come to. To be a part of it all, to let them in and accept it."

"Do you hate me for it?"

"I could never hate you. I understand in some way. I just hope it's the right choice, that's all."

I nodded, knowing that there was no sure way of knowing anything in life. But I wanted to believe from what they'd shown me. If it all fell apart, then I still had options. Noms and I could run away to the other side of the world, change our names, all that jazz. There was always a backup plan, and I knew it.

"Just take a damn test, see what's going on," she added as she relaxed back into her seat. "I can't even begin to think of what it's going to be like to be Auntie to a Silvestri, but I'll do my best."