Page 5 of Psycho Saints

"I don't know if I could get rid of it," I admitted softly.

Naomi was quiet for a moment. "Scar, honey, I get it. But this is the Silvestris we're talking about. They're not exactly father material. You know you'd be stuck with them forever? They'd never let you leave with a child of theirs. They'd deem you their property, their baby momma, hell, their baby-maker. What if they chain you up in the basement and just make you pop out babies for them?"

I sighed at her wild thoughts. "They wouldn't do that, everything has changed since the whole Russo thing."

"How has it changed?" Naomi's skepticism crackled through the phone.

I took a deep breath, trying to gather my thoughts. "It's... different now. They're treating me like I'm their woman, not just a captive."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, for starters, they've given me these gorgeous dresses. Not just any dresses, Noms. We're talking designer stuff that probably costs more than our old apartment."

Naomi scoffed. "Clothes don't make up for holding you captive and raping you, Scar."

"I know, I know. But it's not just that. They've taken me out to dinner and on shopping trips. Real, sit-down meals where we talk and laugh. We had a blast shopping the other day. It felt so… normal."

"Normal? There's nothing normal about your entire situation!" Naomi sounded flustered, and I chewed my cheek.

"It's more than that. They're... affectionate."

I paused, realizing how strange it all sounded. "Even Cristian, as crazy as he is, had his moments."

"Yeah, I'm sure he fucking did, the crazy bastard. He also drugged you and ripped out your IUD. Scar, these men are not romantic interests. They're master controllers, they seek to possess and control, that's who they are, they're a crime family for Christ's sake," she hissed.

"I know. Julian has been so sweet though lately, and Tyrone, he's, well, he's different than I thought."

"He stabbed Ray, let's not gloss over that," she said sharply, and I sighed. She was always the one to bring reality crashing down and shatter my rose-tinted glasses when needed. Which was something I likely needed right now, but I just couldn't shake how I felt. I knew she was right, and hell, the hatred and anger I held for Cristian right now was not something I was sure I could get past.

"I'm not. I just think there's more to them than I realized."

"Scar, honey, this sounds like Stockholm syndrome," Naomi's voice was riddled with concern.

"Maybe it is," I admitted.

"Think about it, Scar. Keeping a baby to them, you'll be all tangled up in their family business. Their criminal fucking empire, where they murder and deal drugs and god knows what else," Noms tried to sway me, and I groaned as I ran a hand down my face. She was making all the points I knew were right.

I sighed. "Yeah, that. But they're not as bad as we thought. They have a code, Noms. They protect their own."

"And you think you're one of their own now?" Naomi asked hesitantly.

I hesitated, realizing the truth in her words. "I... I don't know. Maybe I am."

"Scar, do you really think Cristian can be trusted ever again? He's done something horrific, not something you can just forgive easily."

"I know." I didn't need her telling me that. I was furious and devastated by what he did, and I knew it was not something I could just brush aside. He'd betrayed me just when I thought we had a strange connection. But I also knew his brain was messed up. How had he twisted it in his mind to make him think this was the right call? I couldn't even fathom how he'd reached that thought. Was it his way of trying to keep me? That thought was unsettling to say the least.

"I think Cristian may have done this to keep me. He said he'd make me his," I said as a chill coursed through me. It made sense.

"Fuck, it's possible, which leads to a new worry. What if getting rid of it triggers him? He's unpredictable, we know that, what if he lashes out at you?" Noms was worried now, and I mirrored her concern. He'd been broken when Tessa had aborted their child. He couldn't withstand something like that again I imagined. Would Tyrone and Julian protect me from him? Or would they step back if he lost his shit?

I exhaled heavily. There was no way of knowing what he'd do if I was pregnant and then aborted it. "We just have to pray I'm not pregnant then, and that they don't touch me anymore without protection or something…"

"Take the pill, Scar."

"He might get mad at that too."

"Yeah, but it's not like it's even a thing yet. You can keep it from him," she urged.