Page 51 of The Arrangement

“I’m not gay,” he said, almost defensively. “I’m…well, I guess I’m bisexual. Seth’s the only man I’ve ever been with. I’ve always been…interested, I guess, but Seth…I don’t know. It was different with him. He was different.”

“How can this be happening?” I sank down onto my knees on the floor, the questions flowing out of me. “Are you leaving me? Are you asking me for a divorce? Do you want to be with him? Does he want to be with you? Are you leaving us for each other?”

“No,” he said, sinking down directly in front of me. He reached for my hands where they rested on my knees, but I jerked them away. “No. Ainsley, look at me.” He placed his hands on either side of my cheeks, gently urging me to meet his eye. “I’m not leaving you. I love you. I love our family. I love our kids. With Seth, it was just…” He took a deep breath. “It’s not an affair. It was a mistake. A stupid, stupid mistake.”

“When did it happen?”

“A few months ago, the first time. And twice since then.” He put his face in his hands. “I felt awful. I’ve wanted to tell you… It’s been eating me up. And then when you suggested we see other people, I guess I thought maybe you’d be okay with it. And then Glennon found out and made me promise to tell you… I’m so sorry, Ainsley.”

“So you weren’t going to tell me if Glennon hadn’t made you?”

“I would’ve!” he insisted, but he was clearly lying. “Just not in the middle of all of this.” His face crinkled as he cried, silent tears streaming out of his eyes. As much as I felt anger and resentment toward him, I had to give him the freedom to tell me the truth.

“Are you sure you don’t want to be with him? Are you sure you don’t love him? I could never hate you for choosing to be honest with yourself. I’m hurt, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t want you to hide who you are if—”

“It’s not,” he cut me off, grabbing my hands. “It’s not who I am. Who I am is your husband. The man who loves you more than life itself.”

“Is Seth leaving Glennon for you?”

“I have no idea,” he said, putting his head down again. “I don’t think so. I’ve told him we can’t be serious. I’ve told him I love you.”

I tilted my head to the side, trying to process all I was being told. “She must be so devastated…”

“She is, but not for the reasons you think,” he said, drawing my attention back to him.

“What does that mean?”

“She’s worried about you—”

“I’m fine! She needs to worry about her own marriage…”

“Why do you think Glennon’s always got her nose in our business, Ainsley? In our marriage? Why do you think she’s always trying to fix our problems and make sure we’re perfect?”

“Because she’s my best friend.”

He gave me a patronizing look, leaning forward so our faces were merely inches apart. “Because she doesn’t have her own marriage to worry about.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Seth’s gay, Ainsley. A hundred percent gay. Never slept with a woman in his life.”

“That’s impossible—”

“It’s not. Ask Glennon. Ask her, and she’ll tell you the truth.”

“But…I don’t understand. Why would she marry him if that’s the case? Why would she be leaving him now? Did she know when they got married? She had to if…”

“She’s always known. It’s why they don’t have kids, why he’s always away on business trips. Seth’s family are devout Catholics. When he came out, they threatened to take him out of the will, take away his trust fund, if he didn’t marry a woman.”

“That’s…awful,” I said, feeling my anger dissipating. “Poor Seth… But I don’t understand. If that’s the case, why didn’t Glennon tell me? Why would she agree to it in the first place?”

“I guess they’re just good friends,” he said. “You know Glennon cares about other people way too much. She’s always the first to jump up and sacrifice herself for the greater good. She’s always taking care of you, and the kids… Seth needed help, she was his best friend, and she helped him. From what Seth says, it was as simple as that. Plus, Glennon’s been taken care of. He’s not the only one benefiting from their arrangement. Seth was able to get her the best care when she was sick all that time. And he’s been funding her nonprofit since it opened. It was a trade-off, and they’ve been making it work all these years.”

I nodded. What he was saying made sense in a weird way, but I still felt like I was in an alternate reality. It all felt like it was some big joke. Like Glennon and Seth were going to jump out of the kitchen any minute, laughing about how hard I’d fallen for it.

How had I missed it? I’d seen them together so many times. How had I not picked up on the fact that they weren’t…together in that way? I’d seen them kiss, hadn’t I? I thought back, recalling several pecks on the cheek and forehead. Nothing more. Then again, who makes out in front of their friends? It wasn’t the weirdest thing to be a bit private.

But Glennon wasn’t private about anything else…