Page 54 of The Arrangement
“Are you sure?”
“I love you, Ainsley. I will fight for you every single day. I’m not letting you go. Not now, not ever.”
“You swear it?” I asked, pinching the skin around my nails. “We can forgive each other for anything?”
“If you can forgive me for what I did, I will never let you go. I’m in this with you if you’re in it with me.” He kissed my lips. “We can be the people we were before. Is that what you want? Can you forgive me? Can we work through this together?”
I looked down, pinching my cuticle again. As I broke the skin, I looked down, staring as the blood began to pool. I watched the red dot as it grew, spilling out into the crevices of my thumb nail.
“Ainsley?” Peter said, and I got the impression he’d already said my name once. I’d been lost in my thoughts. “Can you forgive me?”
“I can,” I said softly, chewing on my bottom lip as I swiped my bloody thumb onto my pants. “If you can forgive me.”
The smile faded from his face. “Forgive you for what?”
“For what I’m about to tell you…” I whispered, my chin quivering. I wasn’t sure I’d be able to form the words.
“What is it? What do you have to tell me?”
“You should sit,” I said. “It’s about Stefan. About why he died. About why I had to do it.”
“Why you had to do what?”
I pressed my lips together, inhaling deeply through my nose. “I had no idea what I was doing. I didn’t think it would actually work. I didn’t know if I could pull it off. I mean, it’s a relief, right? Knowing that we’re going to get away with it. Knowing that we actually pulled it off and they don’t suspect us. I’d been living with such guilt and worry and—”
“What are you talking about, Ainsley? You aren’t making sense… I mean, sure, it’s a relief that they don’t think I killed him, but I wouldn’t say we’re off the hook just—”
“That’s just it, Peter. That’s what I’m trying to tell you.”
“What are you trying to tell me?” he asked, letting a desperate, breathy sigh escape his throat.
“You didn’t kill Stefan.” I took another deep breath, stilling my shaking hands. “I did,” I said. And then, I told him everything.
Chapter Thirty-Two
PETER
I stared at my wife, listening to a story that came straight from a nightmare. It wasn’t possible, and yet, she’d have no reason to lie. No reason to make herself look like such a monster. I wasn’t sure how to feel about it.
Rage? Of course.
Relief that I knew the truth? I wasn’t sure.
Relief that she was alive? Above all else.
“I had to do it. I had to fix us. I needed to come up with a solution… I know it sounds stupid, but I needed you to…to owe me.”
“Owe you?” I furrowed my brow. “What the fuck does that even mean?”
“I knew about your affairs. All of them, or so I thought. I knew you were sleeping around. Not with Seth,” she added, as I felt my heart plummet. “He was the one you managed to keep from me. But I knew about the others. I’d seen the photos on your phone. I’d followed you a few times when you’d left the house to meet them.”
“I don’t…I don’t understand.”
“I was so angry with you. So angry. I’d been good to you. I’d been faithful. I’d stood by your side while you built a company. I’d given you three beautiful children, a beautiful home, and… I still wasn’t enough for you.”
“You were enough for me, you are!” I told her, feeling my body begin to tremble. I didn’t know whether to feel more angry or afraid. I’d sworn to her I had no more secrets, and she knew I’d been lying. So why did I need to forgive her? She should be the one forgiving me…
“I was heartbroken. I wanted to pay you back for the way I felt. I wanted you to hurt. I wanted you to have no choice but to stay with me. I told you when we got married, I’d never let you go. I never wanted to be a divorcée. I didn’t want what our parents have.”