Page 28 of The King's Boy

It was refreshing.

I saw Malloy walking down the hallway as I headed for my study. I waved for him to follow me and then continued my journey. Once inside my office, I walked around to sit behind my desk.

"Close the door," I told Malloy as the man followed me into the room.

Malloy did as I said and then walked over to settle in the seat across the desk from me. "What's up, Boss?"

"Once Spencer wakes up, I'll find out where he was when he was shot at. I want you to find out if there was any surveillance around the area, something that might have spotted who was shooting at him."

"Why are you doing this, King? Why do you care?" Malloy asked. "We've got so many other things going on right now and you want to divert our attention for this?"

When I heard Malloy's easy dismissal of the fact that someone was trying to kill Spencer, it infuriated me. My grip on my coffee cup tightened, which caused it to break into pieces.

"Shit!" I dropped the broken pieces on my desk and then shook my hand off before searching for a napkin to wipe up the mess.

Malloy jumped up to help me. "Did you cut yourself?"

I glanced at my hand. Surprisingly, I hadn't cut myself. I just had coffee all over my hands and desk. "No, I'm good."

Malloy helped me clean up the mess and then sat down in his chair with a loud huff. "Seriously, King, what is going on with this kid?"

"He's hardly a kid." He had proved that twice now. I planned on him proving it again as soon as I was done here.

"You know what I mean, King."

I suppose I did.

"I can't tell you, Malloy." I seriously couldn't because I didn't totally understand it myself.

I sighed as I sat back in my chair and pondered what exactly to tell my friend, and Malloy was my friend. Probably the only true one I had. We had been together since we were kids. I trusted him as I trusted no one else.

"He...He makes me warm, Malloy."

Malloy's eyebrows lifted. "He makes you warm?"

Yeah, I knew it sounded weird, but it was the truth.

"For as long as I can remember, everything has felt frozen, right down to the center of my being." Honestly, until now I had wondered if my soul was forged in ice.

"It has enabled you to become the man you are today," Malloy stated. "You can't be soft in our world."

As much as I hated the idea, I had to agree. He knew as well as I did that emotions held no place in the work we did, but where did that leave us as human beings? Did we have to distance ourselves from our feelings so much that we didn't feel anything?

"It has," I agreed, "but at what cost? I feel nothing. No regret, no remorse, and certainly no guilt for the things I do. The opposite side of that coin is that I feel none of the good stuff either. No happiness, no joy—" I snorted rudely "—and certainly no feelings for others."

Malloy was quiet for a moment, and I knew he was taking everything I said in and trying to process it. I didn't mind. One of the things that I appreciated about him was the fact that he thought before he acted.

"I understand what you are saying, King, but I am not sure how that relates to Spencer."

A small smile curved up one corner of my mouth. "He makes me feel, Malloy. Granted, I am not sure yet what those feelings all are beyond an overwhelming need to keep him, but they are there, and for the first time since my mother died."

I could see how those words affected Malloy when his jaw dropped. He had been by my side when my mother had been killed. He knew how I suffered with her loss. He had also seen me go from someone who smiled to the frigid demeanor I had today.

"Does he want to be kept?"

"I doubt it." I chuckled ruefully. "I've decided not to ask."

Malloy's eye twitched.