Page 14 of With This Mask
"Thought I’d find you here." I startle hard at the voice behind me, and turn to see Alec as he strides into the room, his eyes locking onto me with an intensity that makes my skin prickle.
"Dammit, you scared me," I breathe as my heart tries to return to its natural rhythm. “But I’m glad you’re here. We really need to make up for lost time.” I close my notebook and reach for my laptop, relieved that we’re finally going to get back to our project.
Alec shifts his weight from one foot to another. And when I pay attention, there’s a sudden vulnerability in his eyes that grabs my undivided attention. It’s not our project that he has in mind. "I hate that you know about Vice," he admits, running a hand through his blond hair. "But I'm also kind of glad now."
"Really?" I ask, surprise seeping into my voice. The last thing I expected was for Alec Vanderholt to open up to me.
He nods, swallowing hard. And fuck, I’ve never seen this kind of struggle behind his eyes. He’s in turmoil right now, fighting himself about what’s going through his mind right now. But I see cracks forming in his normal icy façade. "I'm never myself, Salem. The rich boy asshole act is just that. Nobody knows me. But, now that you know my secret, I… fuck.”
I watch him, wondering what’s going through his head. He’s clearly struggling, and I’ve never seen Alec struggle with anything.
“Now that you know, I want to be around you, Salem. It's... refreshing."
Wow. I kind of can’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. "Lonely at the top, huh?" I say somewhat stupidly, trying to comprehend Alec's apparent loneliness despite being surrounded by people who idolized him.
"Something like that," he agrees, his gaze locked on mine. With every passing second, it deepens. And there’s something new there, something I’ve never seen in his eyes before. Something that makes me sit a little straighter and shift in my seat. “What you said last night… I can’t get it out of my head.”
Instantly, I feel myself blush and panic starts climbing my esophagus. “Alec, that was confidential. I?—”
"I want to help you explore your desires,” he cuts me off. And the look in his eyes is dead serious. “Ever since you told me about wanting to explore yourself, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. About you."
My heart skips a beat, and I grip the edge of the table, steadying myself. "Is this some kind of joke, Alec? Because if it is, it's not funny."
"It's not a joke." His voice is firm, leaving no room for doubt. "I can't get you out of my head, Salem. I’m starting to feel a little obsessed."
I swallow once, my brain struggling to process his confession. This is Alec Vanderholt – the rich, untouchable heir we're talking about. He shouldn't be saying these things to me, yet here he is, baring his soul in the backroom of a library.
"Maybe that's the wrong word," he says, rubbing the back of his neck. "But there is something between us. I don’t give a fuck about anyone else in school, yet you always draw something dramatic out of me. And I’m constantly aware of where you are. And now… you’re in my head, all the fucking time. I want to see where it goes."
"Are you serious?" My voice wavers, but I force myself to maintain eye contact. "You expect me to believe that you, of all people, want to help me… explore? We're not exactly friends, Alec."
"Who says we have to be?" He smirks. "Maybe it's better this way. No expectations, no strings attached. Just two people exploring what they want."
My heart races as the weight of Alec's words sinks in. A heat flushes my cheeks and travels down my neck, pooling in my chest. I can't believe I'm feeling this way about Alec Vanderholt, the one person who always seems to push my buttons in every way possible.
“What about Victoria?” I point out. Just saying her name makes my stomach sink, and I know that’s a bad sign.
“What about her?” Alec asks, his tone instantly sounding annoyed and defensive.
“Come on, Alec,” I say, barely able to resist rolling my eyes. “The whole school knows you’re expected to marry her when you both graduate.”
“Trust me, I have zero plans of marrying that viper, ever,” he says firmly. The look in his eyes is dark. And I believe him. “I have zero interest in Victoria. The expectation may be there from our families, but Victoria is… boring.”
I study him, searching for signs that any of what he’s saying isn’t true. But it’s in every tight muscle of his body. “I believe you,” I finally admit.
"Look," Alec says, his voice low and steady. "I know you and I act like we hate each other. Our lives are completely different, and that won't change. But if we're both honest with ourselves, there's something here, some kind of... connection." He pauses, searching for the right words as he takes a step toward me. "I want to explore that, no strings attached. Just you and me, raw and real."
His eyes lock onto mine, intense and vulnerable at the same time. Despite the fact that we've spent most of our time at Westcroft at odds with each other, I can't deny the truth in his words. As much as I hate admitting it, I've become a little obsessed with him too – the way he carries himself, the secret life he's been hiding, and now, his unexpected honesty.
But this isn’t exactly simple. When it comes to sexual partnering, there’s a lot to consider.
“Are you clean?”
Oh fuck. Sometimes my frankness can be really, really embarrassing.
Alec arches an eyebrow at me. One that’s impressed I’ve asked the question, one that’s intrigued that I seem to be considering. “I haven’t had sex in over four months. And if I’m being honest, I’ve only slept with four women my whole life. Being an heir makes you cautious of people’s motives.”
Surprisingly, that makes sense. “I’ve only ever had sex with two guys, and nobody in two years. So, I’m pretty sure it’s safe to say I’m clean.”