Page 56 of With This Mask
But missing him is the price I have to pay to keep him safe. And I'll pay it a thousand times over, even if it rips me apart.
Even if it already has.
Four weeks crawl by in a haze of misery and longing. I go through the motions - attending classes, studying, working - but everything feels hollow.
I finally work up the nerve to call my mom, terrified that my sacrifice will have been for nothing. But she sounds...fine. Happy. No mention of missed payments or looming eviction notices.
Relief wars with despair inside me. It worked. Alec's father kept his word. My mom is safe.
But at what cost?
Late one sleepless night, I find myself scrolling through old photos of Alec and I. Happy. Perfect together. Blissfully unaware of the storm lurking on the horizon.
A notification pops up. Vice has posted a new video. My heart leaps into my throat as I click it with shaking fingers.
It’s Alec, mask on obviously. He stands in dim lighting. His hands are coated in the black paint he uses for his face. And he’s shirtless. Slowly, he runs his hands over his body, coating his beautiful skin in black. I bite my lower lip, instantly hot and bothered by his artistry.
Fuck. He’s amazing at this. The imagery, the editing, it’s all perfect.
But my stomach drops out when I read the caption.
When all you want to do is fade to black.
And of course the music is perfectly fitted, filled with absolute heart break.
Tears break free of my eyes as I watch it again. I’m the reason Alec is feeling this way. I did this to him.
But even through the pain, I can't help but marvel at the artistry of the his video. The composition, the lighting, the raw vulnerability in Alec's eyes.
He has such a gift. A gift his father is determined to snuff out in favor of a future Alec doesn't want.
And that, more than anything, strengthens my resolve. I'm doing the right thing. I'm protecting Alec's dreams, his chance to break free from his father's chokehold.
Even if it means shattering my own heart in the process.
I close the app and bury my face in my pillow, my tears soaking the fabric as sobs wrack my body.
I made my choice. And I'll live with the consequences.
Even if it kills me.
chapter nineteen
I stab at the wilted lettuce in my plastic bowl, the drone of the cafeteria blending with the hum of voices into a white noise that I usually find comforting. Not today. Today, it's all just background static to the cacophony inside my head as I try to focus on my homework.
A flicker on the wall-mounted TV catches my eye—an anchor with perfectly coiffed hair shakes her head. “Billionaire William Vanderholt was attacked in his home last night. He has been hospitalized and his condition is currently unknown. As of now, we do not know if this was a targeted attack, or the result of an attempted break in.”
My heart drops into my stomach as the food in my mouth turns to sawdust. I set my sandwich down, suddenly no longer hungry, and my hand trembles slightly as I reach for my water bottle.
“This is a very close-lipped case,” another anchor joins the first on the screen. “At this point we don’t know if the police were called. We don’t know who it was that assaulted William Vanderholt, and we don’t know his current condition, only that he is still hospitalized.”
Shit. What the hell happened last night? My fingers inch toward my phone, my automatic response to contact Alec and see if everything is okay now.
But the anchor’s next words freeze me in place.
“The Vanderholt family takes the spotlight today,” she continues. “Tech wonder boy, Alec Vanderholt, son of William, launched his new company publicly yesterday,” she says, folding her hands in front of her. “His integration app, LenseClip, has been going wildly viral and hailed as the best user-friendly video editing software in a decade. John, LenseClip is already breaking records for this category.”
“That’s right,” the other anchor takes over. “We haven’t seen a hard launch go this viral in ages. And it’s all due to the brilliant mind of Alec. And who would have ever guessed, that the heir of a diamond company, coming from one of the wealthiest families in the country, was a tech genius who was going to launch himself into the stratosphere?”