Page 11 of Phoenix
“Really?” I scoff. “What was last night then? Was that for my safety too?”
He smiles in such a way, I’m not sure if he’s proud or embarrassed about last night. In the end, he shakes his head and gets to his feet, seemingly ignoring the question. I choose to let it go because he’s right, I’m suddenly exhausted, and need time on my own.
“Come on,” he says, turning around to invite me out into the back of his small living area, “you can have Lou’s old room. She has a tiny bathroom, but at least you’re self-contained.”
I hesitate for a moment or two, wondering whether to go with him or not, but then my tiredness reminds me that the promise of a soft bed is too tempting to refuse. I push myself up onto my feet and walk slowly to him, placing my hands inside my back pockets at the same time as he lifts my bag off the floor. He then leads me down a small corridor before stopping at a nondescript door on the left-hand side where a single bed lays perfectly made-up and with a few teddies scattered across the pillow.
A pretty dressing table sits in front of the window which overlooks a small, paved area that houses empty crates and beer kegs. On the wall opposite the window is another door that leads into a modest-sized bathroom with a toilet, sink, and shower. There are a few pictures of an attractive girl, a female version of Phoenix. Some of them show her posing with a boy of a similar age, Hispanic in looks, and with a cheeky expression. They look cute and happy together.
“Is this your sister?” I gesture to a photograph where the boy and girl are about nine years old. They look besotted with each other, both with silly grins on their faces.
“Yeah,” he huffs.
“And this is?” I point to the little boy.
“Her friend…at the time.”
“Is this who she’s married to?” I smile at them looking so happy; I can appreciate how life is supposed to go for normal girls. “They look sweet together.”
“No,” he replies bluntly and with no offer of anything else besides that simple answer.
“A man of many words aren’t you, Mr Flynn?” I ask with sarcasm before going over to press the surface of the mattress to test its firmness. Though I have no idea why, probably just to get over the awkwardness of the situation. Last night he was taking my virginity, tonight I’m being given nothing but monosyllabic answers.
“We make a perfect pair then don’t we, Miss Greene,” he says with a small curling of his lips, then folds his arms and leans against the door frame. I merely sigh and sit on the bed, just waiting for him to leave. “Last night shouldn’t have happened…I’m sorry.”
“So, why did it?” I push because I can’t say I feel at all good about my first experience being nothing but a regret to him. He seems to smile over my need to carry on this line of questioning.
“Honestly?” he asks with a raise of his eyebrows, to which I sulkily shrug my shoulders and nod my head. “Because you are a beautiful woman, and I’m weak-willed. Sometimes I’m seeking comfort just as much as you are, Jess Greene, and your body was offering that to me. Now you; why did you do it?”
“I don’t know.”
I purposely give him nothing more than my usual go-to answer, because anything else is too hard to say out loud. Why didn’t you scream? Why didn’t you try and escape? Why didn’t you shout out what was happening when you were in public? But when I see the disappointment in his eyes, as well as reasons unknown to me, I feel compelled to give him something more, if only a snippet. “Because I wanted comfort too.”
He smiles tightly, as if embarrassed again, then pushes himself upright and wishes me goodnight. When the door is finally closed on me, and I am left on my own, I pull up my legs and hug them close to my chest. I suddenly feel alone and sad about the fact that he left.
Chapter 5
Phoenix
By one am, the bar is nearly empty; only a few of the hard-core regulars are left, drinking the last dregs of their beer and laughing over shit that isn’t funny unless you’re feeling drunk and disorderly. I help Aiden wipe down the last of the dirty glasses before going to stack the stools on top of the tables. These mundane tasks are calming me after everything, just like they always do. It reminds me of helping Dad at the end of the night, listening to him chuckling along with the regulars even though half the time, they’d stopped making sense. I’m not like that, never have been. I’ve purposefully made people wary of me; it’s just easier to not have to think of conversation when you’d rather block everyone out.
Just as one of the aforementioned regulars hobbles over to the door to go, he waves at me, to which I wordlessly wave back and laugh under my breath over his ridiculous behavior. He’s old enough to know better, but then again, he’s also old enough not to give a shit either. He exits the door and almost bumps into a face I haven’t seen in nearly a month.
“Well, well, well, look who’s finally decided to come back from ‘trying to find himself’ in Europe!” I smirk, walking over to slap Jake on the back as he meanders through the bar with a massive backpack and a cheeky grin all over his face. “Aren’t you supposed to come back from holiday more tanned than when you left?”
“I ended my travels in England, and we live in the middle of the desert, Phoenix,” he huffs as he throws his bag onto the ground with a heavy thud, “do the Math!”
“Good to see you, Cuz,” I chuckle, “glad you didn’t get murdered on the road. Though, I’m sure you got into other kinds of trouble?” He just smiles a little wickedly before helping himself to a drink behind the bar. “I’ve left your room, so if it’s a pigsty, it’s all on you.”
“Marvellous,” he says with a grimace and then grabs a second glass of water to down while Aiden chuckles at the two of us. “What’s up, Aid? What’s got you so damn tickled?”
“Nothing much, just the two of you.” He smiles with a crinkling around his eyes. Jake slaps his hand on Aiden’s back as my regular barman grins at me. “You look like the mirror image of each other, just he’s packing more muscle.”
“Hey, I’m just as beefy as that asshole!” Jake retorts, trying to look affronted. “I just hide it a little more than he does.”
“Whatever,” I huff and continue stacking stools back on top of the tables. “Oh, don’t go inside of Lou’s old room, there’s a girl in there.”
“Oh?” Jake says suggestively and with a mischievous smile. “Why is she not in your bed with you?”