Page 57 of Phoenix
“She’s coming, keep smiling,” I tell her, to which she does, a little too much. “Lou, not like an insane person.”
I laugh when she punches my arm, but at least it makes Niamh smile a little. Anything to keep her as calm as possible is good in my book, even if my sister has just given me a dead arm.
“I’m ready for you to take me home, Warren, and to leave Lou and Daniel in peace,” she says with a smile that speaks of how desperate she is to get on that bike with me. “I can’t thank you enough, Lou, and I’m sorry if I’ve been hard work with my fears and everything.”
“Niamh,” Lou says softly before wrapping her arms around her, “you are family now, you do not need to ever apologize.”
When she finally lets go, I can see how much Lou’s words mean to her; she’s been looking for this for virtually her whole life, and now she’s found it, and with us of all people. Lou, Jake, and I have been through hell and back, and so has she. But whatever fucked up family we are, she is now part of it, and we are never letting go of her.
Chapter 21
Phoenix
Less than two hours later, I’m getting a run-down of sorts from Javier. Niamh stays with me the entire time, clinging to my arm and looking as wary as she did when I first brought her back here. He can see it too, and he can also see I have more to tell him but cannot do so while Niamh is here. He does not show any sign of this knowledge, but we both know we have things to discuss. However, it soon becomes apparent that Niamh is not going to be letting go of me anytime soon, so Javier says his goodbyes and leaves. I then take her out back to cook her a simple meal and just be with her, soothe her, and reassure her that I won’t be leaving her again.
“Are you going to tell me what you found, Warren?” she asks while cuddling up to me on a couch that desperately needs to be thrown out. Her breathing remains steady, her grip only as tight as it was before she had spoken. A sense of pride grows inside of me, knowing that she feels completely safe within my arms. It’s the first time I have felt worthy of my alter ego name, ‘Phoenix’. I do not answer her straight away, even though I already know I will tell her everything; she deserves no less.
“He wasn’t there, Niamh,” I tell her, the words crackling the atmosphere with what they mean. One man’s existence causing so much fear and pain; I’ve never wanted to extinguish anyone more.
“The house?” she whispers.
“Still there, dilapidated, but still standing,” I answer.
“The basement?” she asks with the beginning of a whimper that’s just begging to come out; I can hear it as clear as day.
“There, Niamh, I saw all of it,” I reply, with my own voice choking up over how this must be affecting her, and how I had felt seeing that dark, grey room in which she had to grow up. “I’m so sorry, baby, I’m just so-”
“It’s ok, Warren, I’m ok,” she says, now holding onto me with that firmer grip. The pressure tells me she is trying to be brave, even though the fear is beginning to take over her again. “As long as I have you, I’ll be ok.”
“We’ll find him, Niamh, I promise you, we’ll find him, and I’ll wipe him out,” I vow.
We lie together, ignoring the broken springs, the threadbare cover, and all the photos of my mum and dad lining the walls, as if trying to remember happier times, before Robert began his reign of terror. We take comfort in the warmth of each other’s bodies, and I notice her stillness and her grip releasing a little of its tension. I almost believe she’s fallen asleep. That is until she grabs my hand and turns to kiss my warrior tattoo that covers my right pec.
“What if he finds me first?” she whispers.
_____
Niamh
I took comfort in Warren’s body against mine as we made love that night. The intensity of his eyes on mine, and the words of love he offered, all had me greedily holding on for more. He felt like home, love, lust, soft, hard, gentle, rough, all mingling together to create an exquisite feeling that had me momentarily forgetting all about the man who had taken all those things away from me. I never had the chance to have a crush on a boy, to enjoy the chase, battle my nerves before a first date, so now that I have what I have with Warren, I grab onto every sensation and every emotion I can. I am no longer numb, and it’s all thanks to this man. And from the way he looks at me, I think I do the same for him too.
“I love you, Niamh,” he whispers with deep, slow, and powerful thrusts, “you are my family, my home.”
I do not answer him with words, just let the peak of my release take over, giving way for his to come not long after.
“You never need to question how I feel for you, Warren,” I tell him when he drops down to layer kisses over my face, my shoulder, and in the crook of my neck. I feel him smile against my skin before we both settle into sleep, something I thought I’d be chasing after what Warren disclosed. I guess I’ve finally found someone who I can trust with my life.
_____
Niamh
“Jake!” I gasp with tears that are mere moments away from falling. It’s perhaps the first time I leave Warren’s side, running over to wrap my arms around his shoulders. He drops his bags as soon as he sees me moving and manages to catch me as I lunge for him. He then releases a tired sigh and begins crying with me. I’ve been battling a storm of emotions, and so has he, some of them the same, some of them completely different. Robert was the closest thing he had to a father, even if he was completely wrong in what he did to both of us.
“Hey, Nimah, you still hanging in there?” he mumbles through my hair. “Is the big guy looking after you?”
“Uh-huh,” I whimper, just as he pulls back to look into my wet eyes.
“Hey, you got this, sis, you know you do,” he whispers.