Page 69 of Phoenix

Niamh

When I lie Riley down for bed, I take a moment to look out over the ocean, the backdrop to our small house that sits a stone’s throw from the sandy beaches that bring in plenty of tourists for our humble beachside restaurant. An entirely different clientele from Warren’s desert bar, but still with plenty of life and an already healthy set of locals to keep us afloat even outside of tourist season.

But now we are closed for a few days while Javier is visiting. One of the most dangerous men in the state has been cooing over our son for three days now, as well as teasing my husband over his newfound life. A life filled with love and happiness. Fairytales and rainbows. A life that’s enough for him? I worry he sometimes craves what he once had. The danger, the excitement, the thirst for blood…the money perhaps.

“You are worrying, sister,” a familiar voice rumbles across the room, making me instantly smile, even without seeing his face. “You have always chewed on your thumbnail when you are worried.”

“You think you know me so well, huh?” I grin as I turn around because he does, more than anyone, except Warren. As I turn to face him, my smile drops when I see him standing there with his passport in his hand. He knows I’ve seen it which is why he offers me a sheepish smile. “You’re leaving?”

“For a little while,” he admits, looking sad, so I go to him and wrap my arms around his shoulders. A flashback of the nights we spent locked in the basement enters my head; I’ll never be rid of them, that trauma shaped my life. His too.

“Any reason why?” I ask, even though I think I already know. I’ve seen the reason in his eyes for many months now.

“Hold that question a moment, I think I know why that thumbnail is taking a beating tonight,” he says with a smug, knowing smirk on his face. I momentarily break my frown and follow him into the living room where you can just about hear Warren and Javier chatting over their beer bottles. “I’ve had some suspicions of late, of your fear, so I called in a favor from your house guest. Now, appreciate this, Niamh, because the shit I got from Javier was embarrassing.”

I try not to laugh when I watch Jake throw a coin outside, an indicator, he tells me, for Javier to show me whatever it is. Warren doesn’t even bat an eye, just continues looking out at the expanse of water that is extremely calm tonight.

“So,” Javier begins, coughing uncomfortably, which sounds strange coming from him, “I know you’re now Mr family man now, but if I were to say I had a job with your name written on it, a job that would mean you could shut up shop and live an extremely comfortable life with your wife and kid, what would you say, mi amigo? For old time’s sake if nothing else.”

I hold my breath, watching Warren as he slowly lifts his beer bottle to his lips and takes a healthy gulp; he doesn’t even take his eyes off the water. Is he thinking about it? Seriously?

Eventually, when that large gulp of beer has trickled down his throat, he releases a sigh. I know that sigh, it’s one that tells me he’s feeling extremely irritated.

“You really think I would risk everything I have for any of that shit? Do you really think I would lie to my wife, my child, to return to that life? Do you think I could look at myself in the mirror if I chose to do this? After everything?”

I clutch hold of Jake’s hand as I listen to his voice becoming more strained, his teeth clenching together as his anger turns into a red mist of rage.

“I take it that’s a no?” Javier replies before releasing his usual laid-back laughter.

“Of course it’s a fucking no, and if you ever bring it up again, I might have myself a new target, you six-foot bastard!”

This has Javier bursting into a fit of laughter, tipping his head back, which eventually has Warren cracking his tension with a smile. And finally, I release the breath I’ve been holding.

“See?” Jake says smugly and I nudge him like any sister would.

“Ok, now you,” I begin as I thread my arm through his and lead him outside.

“Come on, Niamh, you already know the answer to your earlier question,” he says as we approach the guys outside, all tension dissipated. They look up at us and Warren holds out his hand for me, so I immediately go to him, curling myself up on his lap and basking in the knowledge that I’m enough. Riley and I are really all he needs.

“You should know you are all I’ve ever needed,” Warren whispers inside my ear and I look at him with shock and humility. Luckily, all he does is smile and kiss me on the tip of my nose.

“How did you know?” I cannot help but ask.

“Javier’s cough,” Warren replies matter of factly, “he’s always been a terrible liar with me.”

Javier and Jake laugh softly at the same time as Warren takes my chin between his finger and thumb and forces me to look at him, and only him.

“You and Riley are my life,” he says, and I nod in understanding, finally convinced of that fact. I kiss him and cuddle that little bit closer to him.

“Welp, I guess this is it for a while, brother and sister,” Jake says. “Christ, that sounds weird.”

“Si,” Javier confirms while nodding.

“When will you come back?” I ask with fear in my voice. We’ve gone years without seeing each other before but now that we’ve found each other again, I’m not ready to let him go again.

“Niamh, I found you, my brother, my sister, even this scary-ass bastard,” he says, to which Javier tips his head back and laughs again. “What I haven’t found is myself. I have no idea who I am, Niamh.”

“I know,” I whisper, my eyes filling with tears for him. I’ve seen how lost he’s been, and it’s hardly surprising. We were both traumatized by our past, but I found my strength in Warren, and in the family we’ve created. “You always had to look after me before yourself, Jake. I knew you wouldn’t look to find yourself until you’d saved me first.”