Page 58 of The Rebound Play
I let out a heavy sigh, my eyes filling with tears. I did what I had to do. Although I love Dan, I know that as soon as he’s back in his world, I’ll end up with a broken heart when he realizes that being with me these past weeks has been nothing more than a pleasant walk down memory lane, back to a girl he once loved before he was even a man.
I don’t belong in his world. It’s foreign to me, and as much as I hated hearing it from Lana that night in the ladies’, I knew she was speaking the truth the moment the words fell from her lips. I don’t fit into his world. I’m not the kind of woman someone like Dan Roberts will end up with. I’m a small-town girl whose life revolves around her family and her town. I’m not glamorous. I’m not worldly.
I’m not enough.
“Are you okay?” Clara asks as she pads into the living room in her thick socks, her robe wrapped tightly around her slim waist.
“No,” I choke out, my voice strangled by emotion.
She sits down on the sofa next to me and pulls me into a hug. “You did what you thought was right, honey.”
“Then why does it hurt so much?” I sob into her shoulder.
“Because you love him. It’s as simple as that.”
I sniff and brush the tears from my eyes. “If only it were that simple then I would still be with him.”
She presses her lips together, her eyes searching my face. “Explain to me once more why you broke up with him?”
“Clara,” I warn, not wanting to go down that path again. It was painful enough the first time she asked when she found me clasping onto my knees, sobbing like a child.
She raises her hands in the air. “All I’m saying is you love him and it’s pretty dang obvious that he loves you, too.”
My stupid, stupid heart leaps at the thought that Dan loves me.
“But it’s not that easy,” I protest. “It’s … complicated.”
“What love isn’t complicated?”
“The easy kind, like Mom and Dad had.”
“Do you wanna know what I think?” she asks, but in typical older sister style, she doesn’t wait for my response. “I think love is a hot mess. It’s complicated, sure, but it is so worth it.”
I shake my head, my throat hot. “It won’t be worth it. Not for me. It will end in tears, and I’ll be left alone, right here where I always am.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do.”
She studies me for a beat before she lets out a sigh. “Well, I guess you’ve made your mind up.”
“I have.”
“Can I say one more thing?”
I sniff. “Can I stop you?”
“The heart wants what the heart wants, even when it makes no sense.”
Fresh tears spring to my eyes. “Not helping, sis.”
She places her hand on my shoulder and gives it a squeeze. “You’ve got to do what’s right for you. And right now, I’ve got to do what’s right for me and that means heading to bed.” She pushes herself up off the sofa.
“Sleep well.”
“Hang in there.”
As Clara heads to bed, I pick up my book again and accidentally reread Mr. Bennet’s line about wanting to be crossed in love and close it again. What was I thinking reading a Jane Austen novel? I need to read a thriller or a grisly crime novel. Anything but a love story with a happily ever after.