Page 17 of No Take Backs
Kevin Young, my roommate and friend, sticks his head out of the kitchen with an irritated look on his face. “Where do I ever go? I’ve got a crippling case of anxiety and depression, topped off with a raging outcry of PTSD. No one wants this around.”
“Shut up.” Rolling my eyes, I drop my duffel and walk through the apartment until I get to my room. “You wanna go to Lucy’s with me tonight? I think I need a change.”
“No,” Kevin shouts from the kitchen. “I do not.”
“Good. Be ready to go for dinner,” I tell him, ignoring his refusal. “I’ll see who else we can round up.”
Kevin hates going out. But someone has to make him step out of his comfort zone, and it won’t be his family. Kevin’s parents are both dead. And his sister, Chloe? She loves her brother more than anything and won’t push him to do a single thing he tells her he doesn’t want to do. Not only that, but all of the men that he served with overseas are now married.
And since I happened to be in the right place at the right time to stop my crazy ex-sister-in-law from killing Chloe, Kevin decided that I am good people.
He stands in the hall when I grab my towel and walk to the bathroom. “I need to get you laid, so you’ll stop trying to socialize me.”
“Trust me, my friend.” I step into the bathroom and shut the door. “That’s not gonna help with you needing to socialize.”
7
NIA
“If you don’t drag your ass out of that house right now, I’m going to send Logan in for you, and we both know he’ll do it because he loves me.” Poppy’s voice carries through the open door, full of mocking menace, but the smile on her face is pure sunshine.
She stands on my front porch, hands on her hips, looking every bit like the determined best friend who won’t take no for an answer. The kind of friend who can’t stand to see you wallowing in self-pity or hiding away from the world.
Her words might sound like a threat, but the affection in her eyes tells me she’s just worried about me. It’s been days since I last left the house, days of me wrapped up in this blanket of solitude that I’ve been reluctant to shake off in order to face the world. But I know Poppy, and I know she’s not going to let me hide forever. Not when she’s got her husband, Logan, on standby. Logan, who, despite being the most patient man on the planet, has a mischievous streak when it comes to Poppy’s requests.
“No,” I snap back irately from the living room floor where I’m wrapped in my blanket with one of my old textbooks in front of me. “I’m going over some last-minute stuff before I start my new job.”
Except, I’m not reading it. I’m reading a romance novel on my phone and have been for the last five hours. I’m just pretending to go over work stuff so that I can ignore the world around me.
“She’s getting impatient,” a familiar deep voice rumbles from the doorway, pulling me out of my reverie. I look up to see Logan standing there, all six feet of hulking cop, with his adorable son perched comfortably in his arms. Logan’s presence is a reminder of the life I’ve been trying to escape, the one filled with responsibilities and expectations I’m not sure I can meet anymore.
“And when she gets impatient, he gets impatient,” Logan continues, his lips twitching in a half smile as he glances down at his son, Killian, who’s busy gurgling and waving a chubby fist in my direction. “You know she’s not gonna let up until you agree to come to dinner.” There’s a softness in Logan’s voice that’s reserved for moments like these, when he’s caught between his wife’s determined will and the quiet understanding he’s always extended to me.
I do what any smart person would do with over six feet of hulking cop standing in my doorway.
I get up.
But I don’t just get up. I grab Logan’s son from his arms, pulling the little bundle of joy into a warm embrace. “You’re so cute, Killian,” I coo, pressing kisses to his chubby cheeks. His gurgles turn into delighted giggles as he claps his tiny hands, tangling his fingers in my hair. The pure, unfiltered joy in his laughter is contagious, and for a moment, I forget about the weight of everything else. “So cute I almost forget that I don’t want to go to dinner with your stinky parents,” I add with a mock scowl, though the smile tugging at my lips betrays me.
Killian’s laughter is the balm I didn’t know I needed, a reminder that life is full of these small, precious moments that make the hard times bearable. It’s hard to stay wrapped up in my own misery when I’ve got this little guy beaming up at me, completely oblivious to the worries of the adult world.
“He has no clue what you’re saying,” Logan rumbles next to me.
“Zip it.” I glare at him.
“Why do you hang out in your living room with your front door open like that, anyway?” Poppy steps inside and taps her son on the nose before sitting on my couch with her legs crossed under her.
“It’s nice outside,” I say with a nonchalant shrug, as if that’s all the explanation needed. “I was sitting on the porch for a little bit, but the sun hit my book wrong, so I moved inside, and I didn’t want to lie on the couch.” It’s a half-truth, but it’s enough to satisfy her.
The real reason I’m camped out on the floor, wrapped in a blanket like some kind of hermit, is that I’m not ready to fully engage with the world. The porch was too exposed, too open, and the couch felt too formal, too much like a place where someone might expect conversation. The floor, on the other hand, felt safe—like a place where I could just be.
I don’t even give her crap about questioning my strange habits. Everyone in my family is used to it by now, but I know I’m a weirdo.
“Ever since you finished training and put in your notice, you’re boring,” Poppy huffs. “But at least you’re not leaving Birch.”
“Come on, Kill,” I murmur, snuggling him a little closer, letting his warmth chase away the lingering chill in my bones. For a moment, I forget about the textbook on the floor, the phone with the romance novel still open to a steamy chapter. All of it fades into the background as I focus on the here and now, on this little life that’s so full of promise and love and sunshine and rainbows. I shove the blanket out of my way with a foot, determined to ignore Poppy’s probing questions. “You can sit on the bed while I get changed. Otherwise, your momma isn’t gonna leave me alone,” I add with a wink, knowing that Poppy’s persistence is one of the things that keeps me grounded, even when I’d rather drift away.
“Or you could leave my son, Killian, with me.” Logan holds out his hands, ready to take his child back, but I completely ignore him.