Page 50 of No Take Backs
Kyle walks in with his parents and Josh and his little brother and sister at his side. Even my parents are in the back, tears in my mother’s eyes.
"Richard," I whisper into the boy's ear. "Richard, sweetie, you need to wake up. So that we can say goodbye to Piper." I choke on the words, and when his eyes open and lock on mine, there is no stopping the tears from falling down my face.
"I don't want to," he whispers back and then shuts his eyes the way only a child could. "I want to wake up and it's all just a dream."
"I know." I rub his back. "I know, and if the world were fair, that would happen. But it’s not, and this moment is one that you have to live. Hate the world. Scream and rage if you need to. But you have to live this.”
Josh sits down next to me, and on the other side Richard's foster parents slide onto the bench.
I can’t make myself look up at the tiny coffin surrounded by hundreds of flowers at the front of the church. Instead, I stare at the photo of Piper that sits on an easel at the side of her coffin. Her bright smile and chubby cheeks, nestled in light-brown curls that frame her face. Just like the day I raced into the fire to save her.
All around us, the pews are filled with people who never got a chance to meet the innocent little girl. Yet they mourn her loss alongside Richard. Alongside us.
“My heart is broken today,” the reverend says from the podium at the front of the church. “As many of you know, I’ve served our community for forty years. In fact, I was the one to perform Richard and Piper’s baptism for their mother, Sheryl. Not only that, but I baptized Sheryl when she was a child as well. The tragedy of losing Sheryl shocked our community to the core. But the Lord taking Piper…” He clears his throat and wipes a tear from his eye.
“We, as a community, should take comfort in the fact that Piper’s soul has not perished with her body. Know and take comfort in the fact that Piper’s soul will find eternal peace.”
Richard sobs in my arms. Silent tears stream down his face, matching the ones falling down mine.
“Let us find comfort in each other’s arms. Let us grieve not just for Piper, but for her mother as well. Let us mourn their loss and hope for the future. During the darkest moments in life, let light shine through to bring hope and healing to those who need it most.”
Josh wraps his arm around my shoulders, and I lean into his offer of support and strength.
“Every day that passes will help us remember the smile, the shining child who is no longer with us. And every memory will cast out the longing and suffering that lingers for her family.”
“I’ll never forget her,” Richard whispers. “Never.”
He doesn’t say another word while the prayers continue. When they are done, Richard slides off my lap and moves to the casket, drawing every eye in the room.
“It was my job to protect you.” His words ring out, broken strength filling them and carrying them to the corners of the room. “It was my job to take care of you. I’m so sorry.”
In a show of maturity that I didn’t know was possible, Richard stretches out his hands and rests them on the soft white casket, and then he drops to his knees.
Sobs tear through the room, and there isn’t a dry eye in the entire building.
“I’m sorry, Momma. I couldn’t protect her. I couldn’t keep her safe.”
Josh, Ryder, Gino, and Kevin stand up at once, and I watch them go.
Three firefighters and one Marine, all dressed in their formal attire, move to Richard’s side.
“Let us help you.” Kevin crouches down and whispers something else into the boy’s ear. He nods and then moves to Kevin’s side.
Each of the adults take a part of Piper’s coffin, and as one they carry her out. Richard follows a few feet behind them. His eyes are shining, but no tears fall. His fists are clenched at his sides, and my heart breaks once more for the child who’s lost everything he’s ever known or loved.
Slowly, the rest of us follow, until Piper is put into the back of the hearse. Heart breaking more every second that we stand there, I watch Richard’s foster parents load him into the back of their vehicle and leave after that.
For the rest of my life, I will never forget the sound of his crying. Of his apology for not protecting his little sister. Nor will I ever be able to scrub my mind of the vision of those foster parents’ devastation. The pain and torment written on their faces as they take the responsibility from him and mistakenly put it on their shoulders.
“I need a drink,” I say to no one in particular when they are gone.
Josh nods as he slips his hand into mine. “I think we could all use a drink right about now.”
A chorus of agreements sound out, and a dark-haired woman wearing black holds up her hand. “I shut down Lucy’s for the day. Why don’t we head there.” Parker Townsend, that’s her name. I knew her from when she stopped in to see her husband at the police station while I worked there.
Standing next to her is Poppy, who waves sadly at me when Josh and I walk by.
Neither of us say anything else until we are sitting in his truck. “Do you want to go to Lucy’s?” He watches me over the center console, looking for any sign that I want to go home.