Page 263 of By His Vow
Kingston looks at me, searching my eyes for the answer.
I shrug, obviously unqualified to hand out any real advice in the parental department.
My mom is more than likely spending her Saturday night with multiple bottles of wine.
“It’s your decision. I’ll stand by you whatever you decide,” I say honestly. I might be aware of their fucked-up family dynamic, but I refuse to sway his opinion on it.
If he wants to go, I’ll smile at his mom and say all the right things. If he doesn’t, then I’ll respect that.
“I’ll think about it,” he mutters before pushing a forkful of rice into his mouth as a distraction. “This is really good,” he confesses after a few seconds.
Kian smirks. “Marriage looks good on you, man,” he says proudly. “It’s doing what I’ve failed to do all these years.”
“Oh yeah, what’s that?” Kingston asks, intrigued.
“Making you fucking normal.”
“Asshole,” Kingston mutters before throwing a spring roll at Kian. It bounces off his cheek before landing right next to Griz, who happily steals it.
“See,” Kian says, tickling her ear again. “He’s not always so bad. Enjoy, buddy.”
66
KINGSTON
The warmth of Tatum’s palm on my thigh spreads through my entire body.
“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” she says softly.
We’re sitting outside the home my mom shares with her husband and their children.
It’s a place I’ve been to countless times, but it never gets any easier.
This is the home where she raised her daughters with her husband. The place she made memories with her…family.
They’ve always made every effort to let me know that I’m always welcome here, but I can’t help but feel that they’re empty words said out of obligation more than anything.
Mom left us. We were only young kids, but she turned her back and left in favor of a new life with a new man. She started a whole new family.
Kian and Kieran embraced it. They were younger; they didn’t see the ugly side of it all that I did. A side that I was never able to get past.
The heated arguments. The smashed plates. The slamming doors.
The tears. The pain. The heartache.
Dad loved her. He loved her more than I think she ever realized. Or at least, that’s what I’ve been led to believe, seeing as she was the unfaithful one.
She’s explained to me time and time again that she never wanted to hurt Dad, but that she was unhappy in her marriage. Dad worked too much, and she was exhausted, lonely, and a whole host of other things.
I got it. Even at a young age, I could see that all the things she was saying were true. Dad was never at home, and they’d had us very close together. I could see it. But that didn’t mean that she needed to turn her back on us and replace us with another family.
“It’s just dinner,” I reason.
I try to accept her invitation twice a year. It’s enough to satisfy my mind that I’m making an effort. In reality, it’s bullshit. I should want to spend time with her—with them. But I don’t. The only thing I feel when I’m here is rejection and not being good enough. And neither of those are things that I need in my life.
“We’ll eat and be gone in under two hours.”
I kill the engine before a pained sigh spills from my lips.