Page 268 of By His Vow
“It was nothing.”
“No,” he spits fiercely, shocking me enough to force my eyes open. “It was everything.”
I can barely inhale in my next breath at the emotion staring back at me. It hurts. I feel his pain as powerfully as he does, and all I want to do is take it away.
“Thank you,” he whispers, making me wonder if he has a lump in his throat that rivals mine.
I nod, letting him feel it as we move together beneath the water.
It’s slow, sensual, and entirely too much.
Tears prick the backs of my eyes and my nose itches. I fight it. I fight it as hard as I can as my heart threatens to freefall in my chest.
I shouldn’t be feeling this for this… this…beautifully broken man.
Yes, he’s all the things I always thought he was. Arrogant. Egotistical. An asshole. But there is so much more to him than that. So much that he doesn’t let the world see, and I’m becoming more and more addicted with every new discovery I make.
Silence falls between us, leaving just our heaving breaths and the sloshing of the bath water, but the air is heavy with all our unspoken words.
Words that we shouldn’t need to say, let alone feel.
“Tatum, I?—”
Lifting my hand from his shoulder, I press two fingers to his lips.
“Don’t,” I beg. “Actions, not words.”
I’m not sure if it’s relief or disappointment that fills his eyes, but it’s gone so quickly, I don’t stand a chance of attempting to decipher it.
“Need you,” he groans as his hips pick up pace, sending even more water crashing over the sides.
“Then take,” I offer. “Whatever you need.”
He stares up at me as if I’m something special, someone important, and I have no choice but to close my eyes and block it out.
It’s too much.
Just as I suspected, from the moment we walked into the Warner Group building together the next morning, we got swallowed up in the fear vibrating around every office about what the future of the company and everyone’s jobs holds.
Thankfully, I was able to lock myself in my office during the day and only had to deal with my team.
I’d already made it very clear to them the week before that despite me being first a Warner, and then a Callahan, I have absolutely no inside information about what was happening, or any sway about who would stay and go. Thankfully, they all respected me enough to leave it at that and focus on their jobs.
The atmosphere around the building was awful. I’ve always enjoyed my job and never, ever clock-watched, desperate for the day or the week to come to an end, but this week is different. But as much I as I want to leave the oppressive conditions of the office behind, going home brings me even more anxiety.
Visiting Kingston’s family this past weekend seemed to crack something inside him. He’s been different ever since.
From what I’ve heard through the grapevine at work, he’s the same ruthless asshole we all know and…endure as he and Miles have started putting their plan into place. But at home, he’s been even more attentive, gentle, caring.
Every night after work, I expect him to have shaken it off and returned to his usual ways, but every day he returns home that little bit more vulnerable and broken.
It’s as unnerving as it is mind-blowing that he immediately seeks me out, wraps me up in his arms, tucks his face into the crook of my neck and uses me as some kind of pillar of support.
The nights he’s been home late, I’ve taken it upon myself to make use of his kitchen and attempt to rustle us up some dinner. Some nights have been more successful than others. But no matter what time he’s been home or how awful his day has been, there is always one certainty. We always have sex, and every single night he passes out with his arms wrapped around me.
While I might be exhausted, I haven’t been finding sleep quite so easily. Instead, most nights I’ve been lying there until long past midnight with my mind spinning.
I wish I could stop, but with every day that passes, more questions about where all of this is going crop up.