Page 284 of By His Vow

Even the bright red front door is faded and chipped. It’s a far cry from the house of my memories. But while it might be tired, it still has the same heart. I can feel it from here. The magic still exists inside those old, thick, uneven walls.

I continue forward toward the small play park on the other side of the road and take a seat on the bench.

Miles and I used to spend hours over here as kids. Even long after we outgrew it, we’d just sit under the slide and chat about nothing, play games, do all the kinds of things kids do to pass the time. Time that they think moves so slowly.

Why is it that as kids, all we want to do is grow up, but the second we do, all we want is to return to the carefree lives we used to have as children?

Life is cruel. It’s the only explanation.

It’s the only reason I’ve got for why I’m sitting here right now in so much pain.

Not only did I walk away from my husband and the new life we were building together—albeit fake—when I decided to come, but I’ve also given all of this away.

It’s why I needed to come.

I needed to say goodbye.

From the moment I discovered Dad hadn’t done as he promised and left this place to me in his will—or at least he didn’t without a million caveats—deep down, I knew my dream was over.

Sure, I agreed to his stupid plan with the hope that I might still get it. But I knew then that it would fail. That ultimately, I’d end up without anything.

And honestly, it’s fine. I don’t need anything from him.

This cottage, it was a dream.

But I don’t need a man to create the dream life I crave.

I don’t need a man for anything.

Unease flutters inside me.

Kingston sure made things…more bearable, though.

I thought living with him, getting closer to him, getting to know him better was going to be torture.

How wrong was I?

Sure, we’ve fought. We’ve butted heads and have some varied differences of opinions, but also…we’ve kinda just worked.

Fighting with him was fun. Tormenting him and waiting for him to crack was even better. But none of it was as good as when we collided.

Fuck. Together we were electric.

I’ve never felt like that with anyone else before.

Just one innocent touch turned my entire body to mush. It was as if he held a secret button that I never knew existed, and the second he pushed it, I just melted for him.

Ripping my eyes from the cottage, I stare down at the rings on my finger.

I told myself that I’d take them off once I settled in my seat on the plane.

But I couldn’t do it.

I convinced myself that it was because I was still on American soil. That it would be easier once I landed on the other side of the pond. That everything would be different the moment I touched down in England.

But nothing changed.

The pain, the heartache, the confusion, the fear. All of it is still there.