Page 80 of By His Vow
Any hit of the grief he was just feeling is instantly banished, replaced by unfiltered anger.
The bruises might have started to fade since he showed me with his fists last week how thrilled he was with this plan, but it’s clear he’s far from over it.
“We should go,” I say softly, my eyes holding Miles’s but my voice soft for Tatum.
She shakes her head. It’s so slight that I don’t think I’d know if she weren’t pressed against me.
“You go. We’ll meet you back at the house,” I say, looking between Miles and Lorelei.
Miles wants to argue, but thankfully, he decides that now is not the time, and after giving me a long hard glare—a warning—he takes off with a concerned-looking Lorelei by his side.
Dad and Helena are the last to leave. Helena clings to him like she’ll die without him.
I guess it’s a good thing that Dad’s latest wife decided funerals were too depressing and turned down the invitation to join him. Her words, apparently, not his.
“Tatum?” I whisper when it’s just the two of us left. “What do you need, baby?”
She doesn’t react for long seconds, but eventually, she pulls away from me, and with her head bowed, she walks toward the freshly dug hole in the ground where her father has been laid to rest.
I let her go, giving her space to do whatever she needs.
My heart thunders in my chest as I watch her. Her pain is palpable, but once again, I can’t help wondering if it’s more than just loss.
She stands there unmoving, staring into the Earth.
The sun continues to shine down on us, and the birds overhead continue to sing.
As funerals go, it’s pretty perfect with the beautiful spring weather and the promise of new life popping up around us.
Cathartic, in a way.
As one door closes, more open up all around us.
I guess all that matters is which ones we choose to walk through.
I give her as long as I can, but eventually, my need to support her gets too much and I step up behind her.
Wrapping my arm around her waist, I pin her back against me and tuck my face into her neck.
“I should be sadder than I am,” she confesses after long, agonizing seconds.
“There is no right or wrong way to feel, Tatum.”
“Everyone expects me to be devastated. I should be devastated.”
“No one expects anything. They didn’t know what it was like to live with your father. Only you know the relationship you’ve had.”
“He’s given me everything,” she whispers.
“Has he?” I don’t mean the simple question to come out as bitterly as it does.
Her breath catches as she hears it, but I doubt she understands what I really mean. As far as she’s concerned, I’m just as bad as they are.
“You’re shivering. We should get back.”
I’ve no idea how she can possibly be cold with the warm sun beating down on us, but she’s trembling.
“I’m not cold. I’m…I don’t know.” She sighs.