Page 54 of Clash of Kingdoms
“If I don’t survive, you have my blessing to marry my daughter.”
He inhaled a slow, deep breath, emotion visible across his face.
“If that’s what she wants…” I didn’t want my daughter to be like Aurelias. I wanted to see her again someday, not forsake her soul, not forsake her ability to have children…to be denied the greatest joy she would ever know. But I recognized love easily because I’d been in love for twenty years without respite, and I could spot it in the dead of night. I knew my daughter loved this man, and I knew he loved her more.
Aurelias clearly didn’t know what to say to that because all he did was stare.
“Grab your horses. Prepare to ride.”
After another long stare, he nodded and left with his brothers.
I watched them walk away before I turned back to the path.
Then I saw her standing there, tears in her eyes, a grown woman in the eyes of everyone but me. What I saw was a little girl with her hair in a braid, wearing a dress she hated but was forced to wear for the luncheon with the stewards. She was afraid, as if she would be punished when I found out she’d taken the cookies from the jar in the middle of the night. But my resolve for discipline had never been strong with her, so we ate the cookies together in front of the fire and never told her mother.
I almost cried at the memory.
Harlow walked up to me, a scared little girl looking to me to make her feel better, to make all of this go away like I always did. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She tried again, but her voice cracked with tears. “You—you can’t leave without saying goodbye…”
It took all my strength to hold everything back, to restrain my emotion not just in front of her, but my men. They all had to say goodbye to their families. They all had to endure this horrible burden. “I will never say goodbye to you, sweetheart.” My arms circled her and brought her to my chest, my chin resting on her head. My eyes closed once my face was no longer visible to her, and that was when I felt the tears burn behind my eyelids. Battling them was like battling the rain clouds…hopeless.
She cried in my chest, holding on to me like I was a stuffed doll even though I was covered with solid armor. “Come back. I need you to come back.”
I steadied my breathing. Forced myself to calm. To treasure this moment with my daughter…because it might be the last one I ever had. “From the moment you were born, I knew you were destined for greatness. You had your mother’s strength and sass. You had my tolerance for bullshit. And now you’re a grown woman, and I’m so proud of you.”
She continued to cry.
“You can do this, sweetheart.”
“I don’t want you to go.”
“But I must.” When I finally composed my face, I pulled away to look her in the eye. “It’s not only my duty to fight for our people, but it is my honor. There are things worth dying for, and this is one of them. If I don’t come back?—”
“Stop.”
“Know that I gave my life for what I believed in. You. Your mother. Our people. And I would do it again even if I knew how it would end. I know you understand this because the blood of kings runs in your veins. I know you’re proud of me, even if it’s too difficult to say right now.”
Tears spilled down her cheeks, her blue eyes crushed by despair.
“Harlow.”
She continued to cry.
“Sweetheart.” I squeezed both of her arms. “Come on.”
She inhaled several breaths quickly, over and over, forcing herself to slow. She closed her eyes and sucked in a breath before she held it. When she opened her eyes again, they were soaking wet, but the soul-crushing sobs had stopped.
I smiled. “Attagirl.”
“Father…” She dropped her chin, new rivers flowing down her cheeks.
“These demons may be more powerful than us, but we have more to fight for. They fight for crystals and immortality—but we fight for love.” I cupped her cheek. “And you know how damn much I love you. Nothing will stop me from coming back to my girls. Nothing will stop me from walking you down the aisle on your wedding day. Nothing will stop me from holding your firstborn in my arms and watching your smile light up the darkest night. Nothing.”
Her hands grabbed on to mine as the cries started up again. “Nothing…”
“Nothing,” I repeated.
She nodded. “I love you, Father.”