Page 47 of A Forever Love
“Holy crap! That man loves to make recordings.”
“About what he said—”
Before Carter can continue, the words rush out of me. “Why didn’t you tell me about her?” Okay, seems like my mind has resolved all the conflicts and made a decision. “I thought I was relevant enough to know.”
“About whom? What the heck are you saying?” He places the knife onto the counter with a loud thud, and his eyes narrow on me.
“About your girlfriend. The one you’re taking to the gala this weekend.”
Carter pauses, not moving his gaze from my face, and replies carefully, “That was you.”
His words hit me like a sudden bolt of lightning, leaving me momentarily frozen. My throat goes dry as he continues.
“Do you really think there’d be someone important in my life, and you wouldn’t know about them?”
I struggle to find my voice, my mouth parched, before finally speaking in a hushed tone. “Four years is a substantial amount of time, and we were out of touch.”
“It was your decision, Merida. When you were five, you decided that I would be the most important person in your life, and when you turned seventeen, you decided that you no longer needed me. I’ve remained right here, just as you left me.” The pain in his voice cuts deep, leaving an indelible mark on my heart. “Do you have any idea how many emails I’ve drafted, only to erase them within seconds? Do you know how many texts I’ve typed and then deleted? I thought you’d reach out to me when you heard about mom’s accident. She loved you, for heaven’s sake, but you stayed away.”
“Carter.” The pain in his eyes twists my gut. Had I become selfish in my self-preservation?
He turns around and shakes his head, facing away from me and the stove. Before I can call his name again or go to him, he turns to face me again. His moment of vulnerability is gone.
“I’m referring to you in that recording. I’m referring to you as my girlfriend, dammit. And yes, I was completely out of my mind.”
“But—”
“I can explain. Jason Gibson is heading the selection committee for the best CEO award in the next months. He hinted that having a girlfriend could soften my perceived ruthless lone-wolf image, and like a fool, I agreed. But Hades knows there’s nothing between us.” Carter moves his hand in the space between him and me, and somehow out of everything he’s said, that simple gesture irks me the most.
When he doesn’t say anything for a few seconds and goes back to looking inside the grocery bag as if there’s a buried treasure in there, I ask, “What now?”
He takes out a box of noodles and shows it to me. “I’ll cook us both a mean lasagna, and we’ll forget about that asshole Hades. And then tomorrow morning, I’ll meet Jason and clear up everything.”
While he wraps up the conversation, I can’t shake off the lingering guilt. “Carter, I’m sorry. I should’ve reached out after Lily’s accident.”
His hand stops before he looks up at me. His eyes are sincere, and so is the tiny smile that tugs on his lips. “Even when you didn’t call me, I knew you were thinking of me.”
“I really was.” My inner thoughts scream that this is a massive understatement, but since I don’t want to linger on that sentiment any longer than necessary, I add, “I’ve eaten more carbs in the last two days than I used to eat in a week.”
“Why this sudden fixation on food and weight? Did someone say something to you?” Carter asks casually, and maybe it’s his words about me running away from him, but I find myself compelled to share a snippet of that small part of my life where he wasn’t physically present.
“I want to show you something, but you have to promise not to make fun of me.”
He tilts his head to the side before giving a light nod, and I step closer.
“This is me during my first year of college.” I show one of the few pictures I have from my freshman year.
Carter’s hands pause from chopping veggies, and the frown between his brow deepens. “You were sick?” He holds my phone closer.
“No,” I lie, even though depression feels as debilitating as any physical sickness. “I was just feeling alone…”
He lowers my phone, his gaze locked on me. “What really happened, mittens? Why did you leave?”
I look away as his lips flatten into a thin line. “I wanted to explore the world.”
“Repeating the same lie won’t make it true, Merida. People who genuinely want to explore the world don’t end up battling depression when they do so, or did you seriously think I wouldn’t know what happened here?” Carter, as usual, doesn’t beat around the bush.
I reclaim my phone from his hand. “As I was saying, I ended up binge-eating and isolating myself. I gained weight, which only made me withdraw even more. It was a tough year until I finally found my way back.”