Page 13 of Locked Souls
“Okay, okay. Just breathe, Chastity,” Snake says, helping me to get more comfortable. “It’s okay.”
He keeps saying it over and over, as if it’ll make it true, but that isn’t going to happen.
“You try having a watermelon wanting to explode from your vagina,” I scream, gasping at the tearing sensation as I force myself to breathe.
My pregnancy with Eli was so easy, and the water birth was much more relaxing than being in this bare room with a crazy Society member.
“Too much information,” he mumbles. “This wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”
“What wasn’t? Kidnapping me?” I ask, panting as I force myself to stand. I’m in full blown labor, and I’m trying to ignore the pressure in my lower back.
In my subconscious, I know what it means, but I’m having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that I’m going to have a baby now, instead of in a couple of weeks, the way I planned.
I bought candles, my favorite curtains, and I have affirmations hung up in my room with the guys, in anticipation for this. This isn’t the way this is supposed to go. Pulling a breath deep into my lungs, I try to go to my happy place in birth, because mindset is everything.
That’s what my damn classes have told me, anyway. I’m having trouble finding my zen, though.
“I just wanted to get to know you,” Snake says, rubbing his neck. “I’m terrible at small talk, but when this was presented to me, I couldn’t pass it up.”
“Why?” I croak, leaning over to start to sway. My pants are soaked, and I’m uncomfortable. If I was home, I’d strip and labor this way, but everything is wrong about this birth.
I don’t give a shit if I’m whiny, and there’s tears pricking my eyes, I’m angry and worried about my baby. These contractions are coming really fast, and I can barely catch my breath. I just hope whatever Snake gave me isn’t going to negatively affect the baby.
“Your mother was my Eve,” he says, blackening my vision as I nearly fall over. Snake catches me with a grunt, moving me over to lean on the wall.
“The details surrounding Eve’s and their Adams are typically kept under wraps, but when I saw you, and how much you remind me of Charity, I knew. Something drew me to you.”
“How did you end up as her Adam?” I gasp, blinking as I force myself to relax. I’m wound too tightly, and the doctor at my last appointment told me to make sure that I stayed calm, so my blood pressure would remain even.
I don’t think that kidnapping was on the agenda when she told me that.
“The Elders decide all of that, and I was a misfit that was going places,” Snake says, eyeing me carefully as he pulls out his phone. Fingers flying over the keyboard, he sends a text.
“I was smart, but I tended to get into trouble. A lot like your boy, Ash. I wasn’t like the way you see me now, though. I was clean cut, not quite as…”
“Unhinged?” I moan, my head dropping back onto the wall as I turn so that my spine is flush against the concrete.
“Well, that’s one way to see it,” he mutters. “I work undercover for The Society, and that means I have to do terrible things for the cause. I can turn off my emotions, and disassociate from any empathy I may have left. I become soulless, to do what no one else can.”
“Why does The Society need that?” I ask, a deep groan releasing from the depths of my soul. I can feel the baby’s head sitting on my cervix, but I don’t know if that means it’s time yet. I can’t possibly be fully dilated yet, right?
“How long was I passed out for, Snake?”
His eyes close for a moment as he thinks. “Several hours, while I was transporting you. Why?”
“No reason,” I speak, as he looks suspiciously at me. Fuck, I could totally be in active labor right now. Shit.
It’s not real until I’m pushing. I’m fine, the baby is fine. It’s not real. Not yet.
“Why are you telling me all of this?” I ask. I need to keep him talking, so he can distract me. Usually Bast would be doing this, while Levi reminds me to breathe. Once I was in the water, Jonas held me as I birthed. It helped to heal a lot of my trauma from my birth with Angel.
…But she’s a hole in my heart still, with a lot of unknowns surrounding her.
“Have you ever wondered who your father actually is? Or did you really think it was Maxen Andrews? He always rubbed me the wrong way,” Snake grumbles. “I can’t believe he married that bitch, Isabella.”
“You and me both,” I wheeze, feeling another contraction start to grab hold. I don’t think these are supposed to happen so quickly, but Snake isn’t my ideal doula or midwife, so I’m not going to ask him.
“Who were my mom’s Adams?”