Page 10 of Beautiful Chaos

We walked around the store, as she showed me several other genres. Before I knew it, I had spent two hours in the bookstore with her and accumulated seven books I was ready to take home with me.

Being in her presence was so natural. She was intelligent, enthusiastic, and passionate. Yet there was always an evident sense of vigilance and a protective barrier she built to keep herself shielded.

We walked up to the front of the store where the register was. I placed all seven books on the counter. She stood there in an awkward pause just looking at me with those gorgeous green eyes. Then she nervously put her hands in her pocket.

“Well, it was nice to meet you Mr.…” I looked up at her with a smile on my face.

“Whitlock,” I pointed to the stack of books waiting on the counter. “How much for the books?” She gave me a puzzled look as she stuttered,

“Oh…I. I…. I didn’t realize you wanted to purchase them,” she giggled with embarrassment. Her cheeks flushed an adorable shade of pink.

“All of them?” I nodded. She started ringing them into the register one by one.

When she reached for the last of the stack, she stood there turning it repeatedly with her eyes full of thought. I watched with a raised eyebrow.

“You didn’t have to buy every book I suggested you know?” she said without looking up at me.

“I know, but you did such an excellent job convincing me to read them,” I said with a smirk.

“But you did forget one,” she said then nodded towards the table covered in pink and white books, recalling my humiliation.

She’s funny too.

I watched as she nervously bit her bottom lip. She finished scanning my books before giving me a total.

“Okay, all seven books will bring your total to, $56.72.”

I handed her my credit card. I looked over my shoulder and noticed the same woman who had entered with me was still present, engrossed in the same book she had started when Harper and I went on our search for reading materials.

“Go ahead and put her book on my bill too.” I leaned in and whispered.

The smile she was already wearing doubled in size as she did just that.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out one of my business cards, took a deep breath, and before I could think twice, I opened my mouth to ask something I’d never been nervous to ask before now, before her.

“Thanks so much for your expertise, here’s my card. I’d love to take you out sometime maybe we could discuss one of these books over dinner or a coffee.” She reached out, took the card, and looked down at it. I almost thought she would say yes but as soon as she looked back up at me part of her smile had faded. The one she wore now was forced and laced with only what I can assume was reluctance.

“Mr. Whitlock, I appreciate the offer but I don’t do the dating thing.” She looked back down at the card still in her hand. The sadness returned, and the happiness that had sparkled in her eyes only moments before was gone.

Fuck, I pushed too hard.

Chapter 9

HARPER

Iblink back at his advance. It wasn’t the question that took me by surprise, but rather my desire to say yes.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep. A woman like you, of course, you must be spoken for.” he said as he looked into my eyes with curiosity and something else, I didn’t understand,

“It’s not that, I just…Well, I’ve never… it’s not that I don’t…I can’t. I’m sorry.” I whispered the last part mostly to myself.

He flashed a courteous grin that brought out the dimples on either side of his lips. With a nod, he turned to walk toward the door. Talking over his shoulder not even bothering to turn around he said,

“It was a pleasure meeting you Harper, keep my card. In case you change your mind,” moments later, the doorbell chimed, and he had vanished.

I paused for a moment, simply looking out into the street, and realized it was the first time a man hadn’t triggered an anxiety attack in me. As he approached, I didn’t feel the urge to gulp down air or the heaviness that usually overpowered me. The familiar urge to run and hide from the overwhelming feeling caused by his proximity didn’t come. None of the terrible sensations that had plagued me for the past eight years overwhelmed me. It was odd, yet something was reassuring about his presence and his eyes were…

familiar.