Page 35 of Tough Score

"You're sure I shouldn't come out there? I could spend a couple of weeks or a month with you and--"

"I'm good, I swear. My teammates all live in the same building, and the PT now lives across the hall. I have more help than I can handle," I tell him to put his mind at ease.

Ever since I moved from Alaska to Texas when I was fourteen, he seems to think I won't communicate if I need help or if there's trouble. I guess our history might bring him to that conclusion.

"If your mom were still alive, she'd be there with you. She'd know what to do."

It's a nice memory to have of my mom, but in the end, she couldn't take care of herself, let alone me. He keeps her memory in the good lighting, and I appreciate it because that's where I like to keep her, too. But some of his reasoning is from the guilt he feels, though in all fairness, she left him.

"You're doing just fine, pops."

The phone goes static for a second.

"How are you doing with the pain meds?" he asks.

I knew he'd eventually ask—after all, it goes along with the history.

"I told them I didn't want any."

"Reeve..." he says with a sigh of disappointment. "Your mom's therapist shouldn't have said what she said to you. You were too young to be told those things. Whether an addictive tendency is written in your DNA or not, it doesn't mean you'll become an addict. Your mother had a series of unfortunate events that left her in pain all the time and she didn't seek out help as soon as she should have.hat doesn't mean that you're predestined to become an addict. And if your mother knew that you denied pain meds because of her, she'd—"

"She'd ask the doctor to prescribe them anyway behind my back and tell them I changed my mind? Or steal the ones I did get from my medicine cabinet?"

I hate talking about her like this, which is why I don't talk about her much at all.

I like to remember all the ways that she nurtured my dreams as a hockey player and used every dollar my dad paid her in child support to pay for extra coaching, new equipment, and summer hockey camps. She drove me to every practice and sat in the stands for the entire duration. She didn't bring a tablet or a book with her. She'd just sit there watching every minute. She was my biggest fan.

I don't want to remember her as an addict because that's not who she was... but it doesn't mean her addiction hasn't shaped me into who I am now, because it has.

"I'm sorry I didn't see it, son. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me to be--when both of you needed me."

My dad's constant guilt isn't fair, either.

He thought he was giving us a better life in Texas, but she didn't want the big house or the spending account.

She just wanted the same twenty-one-year-old roughneck man she married and a simple life in Alaska--the only home she had ever known.

"Actually, I changed my mind. We haven't seen each other in a while. I do want you to come. But how about Christmas in Seattle? Has Caroline ever had a snowy Christmas?"

Caroline is my stepmom and the honest-to-God nicest person I've ever met.

If you looked up Texas debutante in the dictionary, her picture would be right beside it. You'd also find her picture next to Southern Hospitality.

I know that a lot of people don't get along with their step-parents, but Caroline is impossible to hate. It would be like trying to hold a grudge against a Teletubby or a gummy bear.

If it's all an act, then she deserves a fucking Oscar because I haven't seen her slip up once over the eighteen-plus years I've known her.

"She'd love it! I'll have her start looking for a house rental for the weekend."

"Sounds good pops."

"I love you, Reeve."

"I love you too, dad."

I fill the rest of my day with research on past athletes who have had knee surgeries and came back to play professionally again. I know this is Keely's area of expertise, but I need something to fill my time and distract me from the fact that I should be heading into the stadium to warm up right about now, and instead, I can't even go down to at least be in the locker room with the guys tonight because Coach Bex and Sam don't trust that I won't reinjure myself.

When Keely shows back up to the apartment, my heart sinks at the t-shirt she's wearing. It has Oakley's logo on it, and it's just another reminder that even Keely gets to celebrate with my team, and I don't.