Page 74 of The Eleventh Hour
I slam down hard, sinking all the way, and then pause to feel that painful stretch. It’s so good. He’s inside me. This feels like a dream. The pain is the only thing that anchors me to this moment.
Rafe groans, and his fingers reach up, tracing my shoulders, arms, breasts in an almost frenetic energy.
“Baby, why?”
“I need this.” It’s the only answer I have. The only thing that makes sense in my mind. I need to be here, in this moment.
I roll my hips, rising and falling in a dance that I had wondered if I’d forgotten. Movements that I’ve woken up with but have faded with shame and disgust. I don’t feel those two feelings right now. He thrusts up to meet me, and then puts a hand around the back of my neck and pulls me down as he lays back on the bed.
Rafe grips my breasts, and he kisses first one and then the other before dragging his teeth over my nipples.
I hiss and arch my back and thrust harder against him. Now the pain is gone. It feels so good, a building heat, a coil of pressure. He kisses up my chest and bites lightly on my shoulder. I drop my head into his shoulder and pant. Licking the salty skin and leave my own bite mark on him.
Rafe’s breathing grows erratic, and he thrusts up, harder. His jaw is clenched, and I sit up again, riding him. He reaches between my legs and strokes my clit. Over and over, thrusting harder. We are both so out of control, and it’s exactly what I need.
No control. No consequences. Nothing but a man who makes me feel safe and free.
My body coils and tightens as a wave of pleasure slams through me. I clamp down on his cock and distantly hear his startled shout. He thrusts up again and again, and then stiffens. His fingers bite into my hips, holding me still.
I collapse on top of him, breathing hard. I turn my head so I can look at him, and he looks stunned.
“You alive, Rafe?” I tease. I’m mildly surprised that I’m so okay, but I don’t stop to examine it.
“No. I died and went to heaven. It was beautiful.”
He startles a laugh out of me, and that makes him smile. His arms wrap around me, and now his touch is gentle again.
“I, I know this is late, but I am clean,” Rafe says quietly. “I was tested recently.”
“I’m clean. You’re actually the first person I’ve been with since…” I trail off. “And I have an IUD.” I don’t want to think of the fact that Sparrow makes sure I have one in periodically. Another choice I don’t have.
“I’m the first in that long?” He looks startled, and then fiercely happy. He kisses me slowly, passionately, like he did on the couch.
I pull away and grunt as I climb off him, feeling him slip out of me.
I cross to the bathroom and clean up, and then return with a towel for him. He cleans up, and then lifts the covers for me to climb under. I climb under and lay my head on his chest.
“What happened, Jax?”
I debate telling him nothing, part of the story or all of it. I can’t lie to him in this bed, not after what we just did, after what he just gave me.
“Someone has been drugging my drinks and set up cameras in my apartment. The cameras are new, I know that. But the drugging, I don’t know how long that’s been going on. So, I woke up this morning with my engagement ring on, and it terrified me.” I pause, my throat tight. “I just felt so dirty, so violated.”
Rafael hisses, and his arms tighten around me.
I sigh and bury my face in his chest.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble.
“For what?”
“I used you. I needed to feel like I had a choice, and this is all I feel like I have left.”
Rafael chuckles. “Jax, I think I knew that. Maybe not on a conscious level, but I knew you needed me. And maybe,” he tilts my head up with a gentle finger under my chin, “maybe I needed you, too. Maybe I chose you, too.”
I shift forward and kiss him. “You are the single sweetest person I’ve ever met.”
He scowls and rolls me in the bed so he’s on top of me. “I’m not sweet. Take it back.” He kisses and nips his way down my body. I giggle and tug on his hair, but when his mouth sucks lightly on my clit, I almost shriek.