Page 65 of See You Maybe
“What I want to hear about is Mr. ‘Hold on to the Headboard and Scream My Name.’ It must have been crazy seeing him again. I googled the company when Uncle Richard told me who the buyers were… I almost passed out when I saw the picture. I thought the name sounded familiar.”
A knot formed in Olivia’s stomach, but she forced her face into a neutral expression. An unintended perk of her life with Kyle. She’d learned to mask her emotions. Call it instinct, but something was off between her and Jessica, and Olivia wasn’t sure she trusted her anymore.
“He didn’t remember me.” Olivia shrugged and gave a self-deprecating laugh.
Jessica set her wineglass down, her mouth hanging open.
“I wasn’t expecting anything,” Olivia hurried on, “but it’s pretty mortifying.” She had no intention of telling Jessica about what happened in New York or that she was convinced Declan was lying.
“Wait? So, he didn’t remember it the same way? What did he say?”
The knot in her throat grew. “No. As in, didn’t remember me, didn’t remember me.”
Jessica’s brow wrinkled, but there was something in her expression that made Olivia uncomfortable. “What did he say when you told him?”
“Nothing. I didn’t say anything. It was a business meeting. Perhaps, the most important one of my career. I wasn’t about to say, ‘Hey, I guess you don’t remember me, but I told you my name was Rose twelve years ago, and we fucked like bunnies across southern Ireland for a week.’”
Jessica winced. “Yeah, I can see how that would be awkward.” She took another sip of wine. “I always knew the guy sounded too good to be true. And when we found out he’d lied to you about who he was...” Her frown deepened. “It won’t affect the sale, right? I know that sounds callous considering he basically peed on your fantasy, but you know what’s at stake with this.” Jessica leaned forward. “For my uncle, I mean. You won’t let your hurt pride get in the way of the deal…”
Olivia felt sick. Jessica had been her best friend, her only friend really for most of her life. The person she’d confided in and cried to in the months after she returned from Ireland. She knew what that week had meant to Olivia.
Intense loneliness swept over her. Olivia had thought if anyone would understand how difficult this situation was, it would be Jessica. But the day Olivia filed for the divorce, was the day their relationship changed. “Of course not,” she said smoothly.
Jessica must have registered her cool tone because she grimaced. “I’m sorry. I’m an asshole. You created a whole fairy-tale memory around this guy, and to find out he was just using you for sex?—”
“What are you talking about?”
Jessica stared at her, lips in a firm line. “Liv, I love you, but ever since you came back from Ireland, you’ve been obsessed with this guy. You almost didn’t marry Kyle because of it.”
“Yeah, what a tragedy that would have been.”
Jessica’s lips pressed together until they almost disappeared. “I’m not saying my cousin is flawless, but you never gave him a real chance. You never let him into your heart because you had this imaginary man who was ‘perfect.’” She rolled her eyes. “How could any real man compete with that?”
Olivia gripped her tea cup, slightly surprised that the handle didn’t snap off in her hand. “You know that’s not why we got divorced.”
“I know. I remember. He wasn’t nice to you… hurt your feelings.”
Embarrassed and ashamed of what her personal life had become, Olivia had hidden the worst of it from the world, but she had no idea this was how her friend felt.
“It was a bit more than that.”
Jessica’s eyes softened. “I know. Kyle told us about how not being able to get pregnant affected you… the marriage.”
Hurt and disbelief slammed through her.
“It’s understandable,” Jessica continued. “I know how much you wanted a family, how much your mom and sister were pressuring you… and I was having kids…”
Olivia’s heart pounded in her chest, and her lips tingled.
As if from a distance, she heard Jessica say, “Marriage is hard. God knows, half the time I want to kill my husband.”
Color and noise rushed back in, and Olivia could hear her own harsh breathing.
“Did you know he gave me an STD?” Olivia blurted out. Her voice was too loud, and out of her periphery, she saw people glancing their way. Her cheeks heated, but she was too enraged to care. She was tired of hiding Kyle’s bullshit for the sake of saving face.
“I found out he was cheating when the doctor handed me my prescription. That was a fun moment. Kyle didn’t even deny it, though he was sorry that time. He claimed the affairs he had later were my fault because I embarrassed him at work. I apparently didn’t make him feel like a man.”
Olivia shook her head, ignoring Jessica’s pale cheeks and wide eyes. “Like an idiot, I still stayed. I thought I could fix it. I wasn’t about to be a failure at marriage, not after…” She didn’t need to tell Jessica about the pressure Olivia’s family put on her to get married and start a family. “I tried for years!”