Page 83 of See You Maybe
Declan sat on top of a picnic table facing the river. His white shirt sleeves were rolled up despite the bitter afternoon, exposing his powerful forearms. He was so handsome he made her teeth ache.
He turned to watch her approach, and her steps slowed. Declan had on the hard, impervious mask he seemed to always wear, but she could see the tension in his eyes.
“What’s wrong?”
He didn’t bother to deny something was. “You told your ex-husband about Ireland.”
Her stomach dropped. “I only ever told one person. My friend Jessica. Apparently, she told Kyle when she saw him at Christmas. They’re cousins.”
“You should have told me,” he snapped.
“I only found out last night when Kyle confronted me about it.”
A vein in Declan’s neck pulsed, and his jaw turned to granite. “What did he do?”
Olivia kept her expression carefully neutral, resisting the urge to hold her wrist. Thankfully, it was winter and long sleeves easily covered the bruises. She wasn’t interested in revisiting the moment, but Declan needed to know what he could be facing.
“I don’t remember his exact words. Just that Jessica told him we had a fling a long time ago, and that you didn’t remember me. He wanted to know if I had used our previous relationship to sabotage the deal.”
Declan’s shoulders squared, and his chest lifted in a controlled breath. “It’s important that no one thinks you have any influence over me, or believes that week meant anything. You mean nothing to me. I don’t know you.”
The searing pain lancing through her took her breath away, and when he flinched, Olivia knew he’d heard her gasp. Declan’s eyes widened for a brief moment, and she saw what looked suspiciously like grief cross his face before his mask snapped firmly back in place.
Her throat ached, and she stared past him at the rushing water, determined that he not see how his words devastated her.
Her chest cracked as his next words shriveled what was left of her heart. “I told you in New York it was just sex, a lifetime ago. It has no bearing on anything in my life now.” His words were harsh, and she couldn’t understand why he was being so deliberately hurtful.
“You tattooed me over your heart.” Olivia wished the words back as soon as she said them.
His throat bobbed as he swallowed. “That was a drunken mistake made a long time ago. And I’ve already explained to you, it means nothing.
“You can believe what you want. Spin it into some kind of grand, romantic gesture if it makes you feel better.” His head bowed for a moment, and the cold winter wind cut through her coat. “What do you want it to mean?” Declan rasped and lifted his head. “That I got a tattoo because I wanted to be with you, and the pain was unbearable because I couldn’t… So, I found the one way I could keep you with me. By permanently carrying you on my body.”
Olivia’s eyes flashed to his, and she saw the truth and raw pain there before he could hide it. She shook her head. “I don’t know why you are saying whatever you can to hurt me. If that week wasn’t real, if it truly meant nothing, you wouldn’t bother, Declan. You are working so hard to make me doubt what I know… for me to accept that I imagined the whole thing… It only reinforces what I know is true.”
Her breathing evened out, and she welcomed the chill numbness taking over her body. Numb was always better than pain.
“You’re right about one thing, though. Whatever it was, it’s over. It’s the past. But it meant something, and nothing you say…” Her voice was dull as the words trailed off.
Olivia was suddenly exhausted. She was tired of fighting. For too long, it felt like she was fighting on every front of her life, and she was tired. There were more important battles that needed her energy than this.
“I see you, Declan. No matter how much you wish I didn’t. You can hate it all you want… But I know you.”
“You don’t know me,” he practically shouted, shooting off the picnic table and taking the two steps that closed the distance between them. He grasped her shoulders lightly, his voice almost desperate. As though he was willing her to agree with him. “One week. It was only a week.”
Olivia refused to look away. Later, she could marvel at why she didn’t have the same reaction to him as she did to Kyle. But deep in her soul, she knew Declan would die before he physically hurt her.
Torment swirled in his violet gaze before he shuddered, appearing to shed the persona he’d been hiding behind. “Petal, I can’t tell you why. Who I am… what I need to do… You aren’t safe if you are connected to me.”
“What does that mean?” she whispered. Declan let his forehead fall forward and rested it against hers.
She longed to put her arms around his waist and hold him close. Olivia didn’t know what was going on, but whatever it was, it tortured him, and despite the way he had hurt her, she wanted to take his pain away. “You can trust me, you know that.”
Declan pulled back an inch to meet her eyes before his hands lifted to cradle her face. “I know, but you shouldn’t trust me. I’m not the man you think I am. In the office, we have to be strangers. Do you understand? You can’t look at me the way you do.”
Her spine stiffened. “I don’t look at you any type of way.”
His hands dropped from her face, and he put distance between them before saying matter-of-factly. “We are going to be working closely together over the next couple of months. You are good at your job, but if you can’t keep it strictly professional, then it might be best if you give your notice now. You need to forget about what happened before.”