Page 52 of The Devil Takes

The medical facility on campus. That was where I usually got my suppressants from, dutifully filling my prescription every three months. I’d avoided everything else about it—no check ups. Nothing. I hadn’t felt like I needed it. Getting sick was for people with money. Now though…I wasn’t so sure staying away had been a good idea.

It took the entire drive to the clinic for me to realize that I’d recognized her designation by scent. I hadn’t been able to do that in years. Sure, I could infer—by a person’s demeanor, body type, and general personality. There were exceptions, always, but for the most part, you could sense what someone was without having to literally scent them.

But I’d recognized her right away.

Dread sat like a pit in my stomach.

“I’ll wait here for you,” the redhead said. I wished I could remember her name. But I couldn’t. Hell. That wasn’t the only thing I’d been forgetting lately. When was the last time I’d taken my suppressants and blockers? I couldn’t remember.

“I’m good.” I waved her off, but she just glared at me till I conceded.

Fine.

There were purple flowers lining the front of the building. It took me a second too long to realize they were fake, as was the grass. Their petals were the same color as the smattering of scars I’d seen decorating Haden’s throat and across his jaw. I swallowed the homesickness that bubbled up inside me as the thought of him made me weary. The chime above the door sounded as I pushed my way weakly through, lost in morose thoughts.

Ding, ding.

I’m here, motherfuckers.

Maybe I was out of my mind. Maybe Haden hadn’t even been real at all. Maybe this sickness was all in my head, something I made up to fill the emptiness inside me. Something to douse over my shadows, an artificial light to doctor the truth.

The redhead waited with me till it was my turn to go back, then gave me a friendly wave that I didn't have the energy to return as I disappeared into the exam room, Haden’s jacket clenched tightly in my hands.

* * *

“Percy, right?” The doctor held her hand out to me, her expression gentle, though I could tell she kept it carefully blank. She could probably see how close I was to just saying fuck this to the whole thing and forcing my way out into the hallway. “I’m Dr. Reynolds.”

I knew her name.

We’d met before, for my original exam before starting college. She was one of the few people on campus who knew about me. Obviously I was aware I shouldn’t be a dick to her, even though I kinda wanted to, so I just waved half-heartedly and said, “Hi.”

Dad never liked doctors.

Not ones he couldn’t manipulate, anyway.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. Somehow I knew something bad was about to happen, though I didn’t know what.

The last time I’d felt like this was the day before mom had died. Storm clouds on the horizon. Anxiety brewing like thunder in the distance.

“Why don’t you have a seat, Percy?” Dr. Reynolds gestured at the crinkly paper-covered bench of shame and I glared at it before climbing on top, my cheeks burning with mortification.

The paper crunched beneath me as I shifted, rubbing my sweaty hands on my thighs. The fabric chafed against my slick palms. Everything around me was still a bit spinny, but the adrenaline in my veins was a balm for my sickness, apparently. The more anxious I got the easier it was to ignore it. I eyed her warily, unsure how to proceed.

“It says here on the chart you filled out that you’ve been experiencing dizziness, loss of time, and lethargy.” She flipped to the back of the chart with a frown. “Is that correct?”

I didn’t really want to admit it out loud. All laid out like that it sounded bad. So I just forced myself to nod, trying not to stare too hard at the giant diagrams of human anatomy on the wall. There was a drawing showing a dissected illustration of an omegas reproductive system and just looking at it made my skin crawl.

Was that really what I looked like inside? Gross.

“When did you start experiencing these feelings?”

My cheeks burned. “A couple months ago?” I felt stupid. Stupid for waiting this long to get help. Stupid for asking at all. I was just tired. That was it. Tired and missing my alpha, though I wasn’t even sure my alpha was real at all.

I couldn’t remember the last time I’d changed the bandage on my neck, terrified I’d peel it off only to see that Haden’s teeth were no longer there. That I’d made it all up.

“Is this your first time visiting the clinic for this?” Reynolds asked gently, even though we both knew she already knew the answer to that.

“It wasn’t necessary.” I pulled out the big words, trying not to sound like I was about to be sick all over the crinkly, horrible table.