Page 54 of The Devil Takes
Reynolds paused, flicking a reassuring smile my way. She flipped through the pages on her clipboard one last time. There were more papers there than the ones I’d filled out in the waiting room. I wondered what they said about me. What sins they said I’d committed just by being born.
“The good news is that the problem is entirely fixable.” She flashed me a reassuring smile that felt anything but that. “The bad news is that you’re going to have to make a big choice.”
I waited, unsure what she meant.
“It’s clear to me that what you’re suffering from is a bad case of bond sickness.”
“Bond sickness?” I’d never heard of such a thing.
“Yes,” she gave me another reassuring smile. I saw the way she reached out to soothe me, then aborted the movement at the last second, respecting the distance I’d erected between us. It had been so long since I’d been touched that my skin ached for it. But it wasn’t her hands I wanted.
No.
The ones I wanted were purple and covered in scars. Long-fingered. Callused. Bigger than my own and more gentle, too. My eyes burned.
“Yes. Bond sickness is common in situations like yours.”
Situations like mine? What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Sure we’d met in less than ideal circumstances. I’d been cold, and he’d been…well, he’d been something. But everything between us had felt like a dream—not the nightmare my everyday life fucking was.
The memories were precious.
Bittersweet.
But priceless all the same.
“When an alpha leaves after bonding with an omega, they both go through…” Reynolds pursed her lips thoughtfully, then relaxed. “For lack of a better word—withdrawals.”
Withdrawals?
Huh.
“Like an addict?”
“Exactly so.” Reynolds flashed me an indulgent smile that made my skin crawl.
“So, like—is there a pill or something I can take?” I nudged her along, “You know. So it’s not so bad?” My bank account was already weeping but I was desperate to make the pain stop now that I knew there was hope.
Reynolds frowned at me, her brow furrowing for a moment before her expression smoothed. “I’m afraid it’s not that simple.” Her smile turned sad and my insides twisted up together. If it wasn’t simple that meant it was complicated. I’d never done well with complicated things. My thoughts were spaghetti again, writhing like noodle-y snakes as my breath hitched and fear buzzed just beneath the surface of my skin. “You really only have two options.”
Two options were better than no options, even I knew that.
“Okay?” I waited.
“You can choose to dissolve your side of the bond chemically—”
“No.” I interrupted immediately. That wasn’t an option. Whatever Haden had done had already broken the tendrils connecting us from his end. The idea of shredding through whatever was left with a chemical, erasing the last traces of his touch, was enough to make me vomit. “No,” I repeated.
“Alright,” Dr. Reynolds gave me a sad smile. “The second option is the obvious.” She pressed her lips together. “You can wait. Let the bond go away on its own.”
It didn’t escape my notice that there didn’t seem to be an option where I got to keep it.
My pulse was thrumming, my body slick with anxious sweat.
She was useless. There’d been no point coming here after all.
Maybe this is what Haden had meant when he’d said staying together was dangerous. Maybe he’d known we’d end up like this. Maybe…his absence was a weak attempt to protect me. That thought made me want to laugh. I didn’t need him to protect me. I needed him to make me smile, to chase away my demons with gentle hands and the throb of his dick. I needed his scent to run through my veins, his blood in my mouth. I needed every part of him, all the time, but not this.
I couldn’t just let him go.