Page 34 of King of Hollywood
When he’d shown up to that party last summer in his ridiculous orange shirt he’d changed me. I’d had my heart welded shut for as long as I could remember. Bolted, locked. Impenetrable. And yet…as Felix lingered beside the giant ten-tiered cake Barry had bought, and gave me a single, solitary, nod in solidarity—I could feel the bolts begin to slip loose.
My fascination with him had only grown after the conversation we’d shared all those weeks ago. When I’d shown him a glimpse of my monster, and he hadn’t balked.
Would you cry if he had deserved it?
Would you feel bad?
No…I…don’t suppose I would.
He’d awoken the beast inside me by offering it his belly, and I didn’t know how to turn it off.
It was a miracle that I hadn’t realized what was happening.
Not until tonight.
Not until Allen and his damn observations.
Not until I’d given Felix a comfort hamburger—and he’d told me it worked.
Felix was staring at me. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed. Once again—I’d lost myself when I was beside him. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I continued to wait for the answer to my questions.
I could be patient.
Goddammit answer me, you tiny, beautiful bitch.
“Finley?” My heart continued to pound.
“I saw the new note on your door.” Felix’s voice was quiet when he spoke. He chose his words carefully. His head still leaned against the headrest. His face had remained tipped to look at me all this time. Apparently he could be patient too.
“I didn’t know what you’d end up wearing to the party but on the off chance you hadn’t seen Barry’s costume adjustment, I…” Felix sucked in a breath, shaking his head to clear it. “I…know what it’s like to be ridiculed. Before—” I imagined he meant his life before he’d moved here. “I…would often hear things. Empty observations about me—lies, speculation. People can be incredibly unkind, even the people that claim to love us.”
His lips flattened, his eyes dark as he gazed out into the empty woods in front of us. Overhead the clouds opened up, pouring rain down upon us and blocking out our stars.
“I didn’t want to leave you alone. It is the worst feeling in the world—” Felix added, his eyes a lifetime away. “To stand in a room of people and feel like an outsider.” His lips tipped up into a sad little smile. “I’ve often wondered if I would’ve made some of the choices that I did—if I’d had someone who stood beside me. Perhaps I never needed the world to love me, but just one…single person. Maybe that would have been enough.” There was sadness in his eyes. I’d noticed it before, but it was even more apparent now. “I am only one man, but I thought if I could save you that torment, I would.”
Without thinking, I reached out, grasping his chin in my hand and forcing him to look at me. It was the second time I’d done that today, but I couldn’t seem to help myself. “You talk as though your story ended in tragedy.”
“I thought it had,” Felix said, then his lips tipped up into a soft smile.
His eyes said, until you.
And my heart answered with a steady thump, thump.
His eyes bore into mine, making me feel shaky and young, and desperate.
“So, you left your tower to save me.” It was a joke, but it didn’t feel like one.
“I did.” Felix laughed, and it was the prettiest thing I’d ever heard.
I wanted him to do it again.
So I did something I hardly ever did.
I joked. “My night in floral armor.”
Felix snorted, eyes crinkling in amusement, his skin so very soft beneath my fingertips. Once again I marveled at how easy it would be to crush him—and how that very fact made me want to protect him instead.
“We were pariahs, all the same,” I added, licking my lips. When he licked his own, mirroring me unintentionally—probably—I nearly groaned.