Page 16 of Coyote
She pulled back slightly and said, “I just need you to know what I was raped, Coyote. You should know that before you let yourself have feelings for me.”
My heart shattered into a thousand pieces for this fragile beauty. “I’m going to hunt whoever did that down and remove his head from his shoulders. Mark my word on that. I’m really sorry that happened you to.”
She wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her head on my chest. “I was stupid for putting myself in a situation where he could get to me.”
“No, that attack had nothing to do with you. It’s like with Rufus earlier, some men have shit for brains and can’t take no for an answer.”
“I just seem to attract the wrong kind of attention,” she said sadly.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I asked. “I’m a good listener.”
She shook her head against my big body. “No, it was a long time ago and I want to keep it in my rear view.”
“I understand,” I whispered in her ear. “If you change your mind, I’ll always be here for you.”
I held her tighter, praying that my warm embrace made her feel secure. This woman always brought out my protective instincts, but now learning what she’d been through, ramped up my need to keep her safe even more.
“Do you still want to spend time with me today?” she asked quietly.
“Of course I do. What kind of question is that?”
“Lots of men would see me as damaged goods.”
“That’s a seriously fucked up way to think, of course I don’t see you as damaged goods. I just really hate that something so horrific happened to you. No woman should have to endure being brutalized that way.”
“He didn’t beat me up or put me in the hospital. He was just drunk and wouldn’t stop, no matter what I said or did. Sometimes, I wonder if I hadn’t gone out with my friend to bar, or maybe if fought harder, there could have been a different and better outcome.”
“That sounds like a lot of victim blaming. It’s not your fault you were forced. It’s the dumbass who made a shitty decision to break the law.”
I drew her into the circle of my arms and held her tighter. “You should be proud that you managed to cope with something so horrific. It means you’re a strong woman.”
She trembled in my arms, and it pulled all my protective instincts up to the surface, making me hypervigilant. My brain scrambled to figure out what I could do to make her feel better.
She whispered, “Talking about it always leaves me emotionally overwrought. I haven’t been sleeping well these last few nights either. I don’t know what’s wrong with me these days.”
Cuddling her closer to my chest, I told her, “Maybe you just need to take a little time out from all life’s stressors. Remember how it used to calm you down to nap in my arms. You said it used to make you feel safe.”
Without looking up she acknowledged, “It did make me feel safe and relaxed.”
“Then let’s just take a break from our busy lives to rest. Just for a few moments. What could it hurt?”
Instead of responding, she snuggled down closer to me on the sofa. And just like that, it felt like old times for me. When I wrapped my arm more tightly around her smaller form, she relaxed against me and after a while I felt her breathing slow down. Of course, I didn’t rest more than my eyes, because I was too busy enjoying the feel of her in my arms after so many years. I don’t know how long we sat like that, her sleeping with her head resting on my chest and me, thinking that this was the happiest I’d been in ages, but suddenly she stiffened.
“No, no, don’t hit me. Please, let me go.” Bethany was clearly having a nightmare. Her words were spoken in a panicked and fearful voice. I didn’t have to think too hard to know that she was reliving the past. I shook her, hoping to wake from whatever terrible dream she was having.
She began thrashing. “Please stop.”
Unable to stand seeing her in such distress, I shook her some more. She jerked awake, her eyes were wild and terrified.
I quickly held up my hand. “It’s okay, querida. You’re safe.”
It took her a second to realize she was on my oversized sofa with me, “I’m sorry. I was someplace else and being hurt again. It was awful.”
I wrapped my arms around her, feeling hopeful that she allowed me to console her during her time of need.
“Fucking hell, sweetheart. Whoever that stupid fucker is, he couldn’t take me out in order to get you. I’d kick his ass into the next century. You’re safe. Trust me on that.”
I don’t know how long I held her but when she finally pulled back, her face was tear stained, and she looked thoroughly miserable. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I can’t seem to shake the nightmares.”