Page 37 of Tainted Essence
I fucked up, not him.
Unlike last time when we didn’t speak aside from training or when we fucked, it’s not like that this time. For two weeks since I went and screwed things up, Taylan has put a country of space between us. Did that shit sting? Fuck yes! Am I dealing with it and making sure he doesn’t know how much it has affected me? You bet your fucking ass, I am playing the role of bad bitch!
“You’re not focused!” Dad scolds, drawing my attention to him. He stands on the outside of the ring with his forearms resting on the top ropes. “Where is your head at?” I dart my gaze from him to Taylan who stands in front of me shirtless and panting. I turn back to my dad and shrug. “Seriously? You’re twenty-five and think shrugging your shoulders is the answer?”
I throw my gloved hands in the air. “What do you want me to say? I’m just off today, that’s it. No excuse, I’m just… off,” I snap in frustration.
“You are never off! What the fuck is going on, Dest?” he pushes.
Taylan tenses but says nothing as he drops his gaze. Pussy. “Nothing, Dad. I’m just having a rough day.”
“Is it that time of the month? Do you need a day off? Want me to call your mom? Do you want me to get snacks?—”
I cut him off before he can keep rambling and embarrassing the shit out of me in front of Taylan and whoever else can fucking hear him talking about my period!
“No! I’m fine, I’m calling it a day,” I huff out as I ignore him calling after me and heading straight for the exit, fuck the shower I’ll have one at home! Before I can get two steps out the door, Mia’s car comes to a stop in front of me and I have to jump back before I get clipped by her bumper. I glare at the bitch through her windshield, she just grins.
“Get in, your man is chasing you!” she calls out. I look over my shoulder and sure enough, Taylan is charging toward me. Without thinking, I yank the door open and climb in.
“Go, go, go!” I scream just as Taylan makes it to the exit. She plants her foot on the gas and burns rubber getting us the fuck out of there, like we have the po-po on our asses. A minute later the both of us are laughing at our stupidity. “How did you know I needed an escape?” I ask.
“I didn’t. I was leaving as you came barreling out the door and then I saw your boyfriend coming in hot after you.”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I grumble as I slouch back in my chair and cross my arms over my chest. She side eyes me with a look I know too well from my friend. “Save your judgment, I don’t want to hear it.”
“Girl, no man chases after a woman he isn’t either fucking or related to. Spill the beans now and give momma the tea.” I normally don’t share stories or allow others to know my shit but I can’t stop it. As soon as I open my mouth all of my secrets come spewing out and I tell her everything about Taylan, minus the shit that involves my family and anything to do with that side of my life. By the time I have finished telling her everything, I only then realize we have stopped moving and are parked in front of her house. Mia still lives at home with her parents and older brother. Her mom and dad are both great and have busted their asses to provide a great life for their kids. “That was… wow.”
I cringe. “Seriously? After everything I have just told you, wow is all you can say?” She swivels in her chair to face me and immediately I groan at the look on her face, if she was an emoji she would have heart eyes.
“He is perfect. Equal parts broken and damaged but also caring, attentive and fucking freaky in the sheets.” I feel my cheeks grow warm, I never should have told her about how Taylan likes to fuck. Out of all my friends Mia is the one with the kinky side and is all about trying everything once.
“He’s not broken or damaged!”
Her face breaks out into a satisfied look with a smile to match. “Look who is all defensive over someone who isn’t her boyfriend.”
“Shut up,” I snap before climbing out of the car, she meets me around the front of her Audi and places her hands on my shoulders.
“Hear me out?” I shoot her a bored look. “Come out with me tonight and take your mind off the fight and everything Taylan related. I’ll call Peyton, Missy and Britt and we can go out for a girls night.”
I gnaw on my lip, debating her offer. The idea is appealing but with Koda still out there I don’t know if it’s a good idea. No one has been able to find him and it’s actually starting to freak me out—Uncle Vin can track anyone and the fact he hasn’t located him yet really has my hackles up.
“Don’t make me beg. One night of fun and then you can go back to no carbs and training until you die of exhaustion.”
I roll my eyes. “You are so freaking dramatic.”
She wags her brows in response. “So, is that a yes?” She sounds like a child pleading for an extra cookie before dinner.
“Fine.” I reel back and cover my ears when she starts screaming. She is like a fucking energizer bunny, the girl has so much fucking energy bottled up she can start selling it off.
A few hours later Missy, Peyton, Britt, Mia and I are all dressed to the nines but unlike my friends I feel self-conscious. I’m not one to wear revealing shit like the dress I am currently suffocating in. My tits nearly touch my chin and my ass is practically hanging out of the bottom of the dress. I spin around in front of the mirror and take in the sight of myself. My gray-blue eyes are highlighted with smokey eye makeup, the thick eyeliner has them popping. My long blonde hair is straight and falls down my back, while the skin-tight red dress hugs me like a second skin. It’s a corset style strapless dress that has my tits almost spilling over the cups, the hem ending just below my ass. I tried to pair it with a pair of flats but my friends refused and handed me a pair of red stilettos that makes my legs look like they are longer than they are.
“You look beautiful, Dest, stop overthinking this and enjoy yourself.” I meet Britt’s gaze in the mirror and force a smile.
“I feel like a fraud,” I admit.
Her face contorts in outrage. “You are no such thing! You, my friend, are fucking stunning and deserve this night out more than any of us. We’re going to have drinks, dance and forget all about the pesky boy who has you all up in your feels.” I pull my gaze from hers, unable to stand the sight of pity in her gaze. Mia filled them all in about what was going on with me and Taylan before they even got here. I have been friends with these girls since high school, even when I was sent to Blackwood we stayed in contact. They were under the impression that I was sent away to boarding school and I hate that I can't tell them the truth but this is just one of the burdens of being in the life of the mafia.
“Come on, bitches, we need shots, then it’s off to the club!” Peyton hollers, bringing a smile to everyone's faces.