Page 39 of Masquerade Mistake
I pull my cellphone out and touch his name. It goes straight to voicemail, and I huff in frustration, resisting the urge to throw my phone across the dash. I dial it again, and this time it goes through.
“Hello?”
His voice sounds sleepy, even though I only left him twenty minutes before. I nugget of doubt creeps into my mind. Maybe he really was sick. I bat the thought away though.
“We need to talk,” I say.
“Claire, can we do this tomorrow? I really don’t feel good.”
“You can just listen then. I was going to ask you tonight to meet Finn, which is a pretty big deal. I haven’t dated since Finn’s father because I don’t want to bring just anyone into his life. But you’re not just anyone. You’re someone I care about deeply, and I know Finn will care for you too, and…”
“Claire.”
“I know if you meet him, you’ll care about him too.”
“Claire, let me talk.”
I take a deep breath. There’s so much I want to say, hoping something will click with him.
“I’m not ready,” he says.
And there it is. The confirmation on what all this is about.
“Fuck you,” I say.
“Claire, please.”
“No, fuck you. You knew I was a mom. I was just about to offer you the biggest part of my world, and you’re not ready? I haven’t been ready for six years, and tonight was the first time I thought I might be. You must have known this question was coming.”
“You don’t understand. Please, just trust me on this. I know I’ll be ready at some point, I even thought I’d be ready when you first told me about him. But now I know I just need time. We need time. I want to get to know you better before we start talking family.”
“I’m not talking family with you,” I snap. “I’m asking you to meet my son.”
“I can’t,” he says. “I can’t explain to you why, but just trust me, okay?”
“Is it because of your dad?”
I hear his sharp intake of breath, and at the same time, I regret the words slipping out of my mouth.
“What are you talking about?” He says each word slowly, and I hear the anger behind the question.
“Nina told me,” I whisper. Then the line goes dead.
I pull the phone away from my ear and look at it. I’m tempted to call him back, but I’ve already made enough mistakes.
When I walk into my house, I can see Maren has questions. I shake my head, not wanting to say anything.
“That bastard,” she says.
“No, it’s not like that,” I say.
“So, he’ll meet Finn?”
I take a deep breath, fighting back the tears. She takes one look at me and crosses the room, wrapping me in her arms.
“He’s not worth it,” she says. “He has no idea what he’s missing. Finn is an amazing kid, and it’s because you raised him. Any man who loves you would want to love your kid too.”
“But Finn is Ethan’s kid too.” I wipe my face on her jacket before I think about it, then offer a shaky laugh. “Sorry, I hope that’s not expensive.”