Page 4 of No More Lies

“Donnie gets a lot of female attention,” Mira said, “but have you noticed he never brings anyone to any gatherings? Mackie’s never going to settle down. The man has said it himself. He loves the bachelor lifestyle.”

“I’m pretty sure Ryan and Tyler thought the same at one time.” Kelly glanced at Sophie and Mira smiling. “They just need to meet the right woman.”

“No kidding. I used to tease Ryan about his reputation.” Sophie picked up a french fry, pausing. “He’s pretty embarrassed about it now.”

“Tyler was just as bad,” Mira said. “But they found us, Sophie, and now look. We have them wrapped around our little fingers. Steve and Dex, they’re a different story.”

Diane and Kelly exchanged small smiles. They had been with their men for years. Neither Steve nor Dex had been the sleep around type.

Steve had been in training and Diane had been set on going to law school when she found out she was pregnant at nineteen. Law school was put on hold without hesitation. There would be plenty of time for her to do that. They had become a happy little family, and she loved Steve and Megan with all her heart. She had become a wife and mother much younger than she ever thought she would, but she wouldn't change a thing. She was happy. Past tense. She picked up her wine, taking a sip. She had been happy. Why wasn't she now?

“Yeah, I can’t imagine a life without Dex in it,” Kelly said, bringing Diane’s attention back to the conversation. “How about you, Diane, you still feel the same?”

“Of course. Steve was my first love, there’s never been anyone else.” She raised her glass and took another sip as emotion threatened to overcome her.

“You mean, you’ve never slept with anyone else?” Kelly looked at her in surprise.

“Steve is my one and only.”

He had been so gentle, so patient. Her first time had been magical, just like you read about in romance novels. He was so handsome and self-assured, and she’d been so scared her inexperience would put him off, but it hadn’t. He loved that he was her first.

“Wow, I had no idea. That’s so lovely. Really special.” Kelly’s voice was soft, filled with awe.

Diane’s eyes welled up, but she was helpless to stop them. “Yeah.”

“Diane? What is it? I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t. Sorry.”

“Is everything OK between you and Steve? You can talk to us, you know. Just us girls.”

She sighed. “We’re just going through a rough patch. It will be fine. My working long hours isn’t helping, but like I said, once I’m done this case, hopefully things will get better.”

They had to. She couldn’t go on this way. Putting on a brave face was getting more and more difficult.

“Well, we’re here for you. You know that. If you need anything you only have to ask.”

“Thank you.” Diane wiped her eyes. For a brief moment, she thought about telling them how unhappy she was, but quickly dismissed it. She didn’t want to burden her friends or have them see what a disappointment she was. She had nothing to complain about, really. She had a husband who loved her, a wonderful daughter, a prestigious job, and finally decent money. She should be happy. They wouldn’t understand.

Forcing a smile, she said, “Well that really killed the mood huh?” She finished her last sip of wine. She’d been careful to only have one, so she could drive home. “I think I’m going to head out. I’m tired, and I have an early start tomorrow.”

“Of course. It’s been great to see you,” Sophie said. “Please don’t leave it so long this time. We worry about you. Texts are not the same as seeing you in person.”

“I promise. I’ll do my best to get to the next barbecue.”

The ladies said their goodbyes and Diane headed to her car, loneliness bearing down again. Steve had been trying to talk to her, but she had shut him out, afraid of what he would say. Not to mention, the named partners had been putting on the pressure, and she needed on the partner track. Everyone had sacrificed so much to help her get here. She couldn’t let them down.

Her parents had scraped together every penny, even downsized their home to help pay for law school. With Steve’s meager Navy salary, it had been a struggle. They had racked up debt trying to make ends meet. The only way they had kept their heads somewhat above water was because of their families. Everyone had supported her through school. Not just financially, but emotionally, and now she had to show them it had been worth it. Make senior partner at a prestigious law firm. That had always been her plan. Her dream. With Steve’s higher pay with Onyx and her salary, they had finally started chipping away at their debt. Maybe they could repay their families a little, not to mention put some money away for Megan’s education. She was getting closer to living her dream, but it wasn't giving her the joy she thought it would. Her life felt like an uphill battle she was facing alone.

Diane parked, grateful to be finally home. Megan was staying with her grandparents tonight, and the house was far too quiet without her, but for once she was glad her daughter wasn't there. Setting the house alarm, Diane climbed the stairs and collapsed on the bed fully clothed, exhausted. She turned on her side and hugged the pillow, inhaling Steve’s smell.

She loved her husband, and she missed him. Missed how things had been before she was a lawyer. She wanted to be more than just a Special Operator's wife and Megan’s mom. She loved the law. Practicing family law meant she could make a difference in family lives. So why did it not feel that way? Why did she feel like she was trapped in a nightmare of her own making?