Page 76 of No More Lies

He didn't hide his shock. Jealous?

“You and the rest of Onyx are all so great at what you do. You’re living the life you were meant to live, and are not only the best at it, but you’re happy. Even Sophie. She might not be part of Onyx, but she loves her job. You are all making a difference, and I’m not. It’s like I'm on the outside looking in at a life I want but can’t have. It became easier to stay away and distance myself than try and pretend everything was fine, while secretly being jealous of you all and making myself feel even more of a failure.”

He stood and walked towards her, but she put up her hand to stop him.

“Deep down, I know this is in my head, but I can’t seem to make the voice stop. I failed, I’m not good enough, I don’t belong. You are all in a different league to me. Serving our country, saving lives, putting your own life on the line time and again. American heroes. While I can’t even cope with being a mom, a wife, and doing the job I dreamed of. I really thought that when I became a lawyer, I would feel that purpose, that I would be making a difference. No, I’m never going to be risking my life like you, but I would be helping families. I would be happy.”

He closed the distance between them and pulled her into his arms.

“I’m so unhappy, Steve,” she mumbled against his chest, “and I don’t know how to change it.”

Holding her tight, he said nothing. Now he understood why she had felt so alone, and he was so relieved she had shared it all with him. His heart was breaking at hearing how unhappy she was. That she had felt this way for months. But now it was out in the open, and he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt they would fix this together.

“Lately I’ve been a terrible mother, a terrible wife, and I clearly suck at being a lawyer. I’m sorry for it all.”

She went to pull away, but Steve stopped her. Grasping her biceps, he said. “Look at me.” When she didn’t, he gently shook her. “Diane, look at me.”

When she looked up, her red eyes and tear-stained face almost broke him, but he kept it together. If he broke, it would make her feel even worse.

“You are an amazing wife and mother. We have a beautiful, smart daughter. That is mostly down to you. You are a successful, brilliant lawyer. A lawyer that cares. I wouldn’t change anything about you. You are my sexy, intelligent, sassy, strong, brave, and sometimes stubborn, wife. I love you.”

He gave her a small smile, but she didn’t return it. She shook her head.

“I’ve barely been around for Megan recently. I’ve barely been here for you. I’ve been putting work before my family and for what? To fight for a man like Volkov? A man that threatened our family. You had every right to be angry at me. I put our daughter in danger. I will never be able to forgive myself for that.”

“No!” She jumped at the intensity. He rubbed his hands up and down her arms in apology. “I’m an asshole.” More softly, he said, “I should never have said that to you, and I’m so sorry. To be honest, I was more pissed at myself for not seeing it. Not realizing someone was following us, taking pictures. I’m meant to protect you and Megan, and I failed. I’m supposed to be there for you, support you. I failed at that, too.”

“You didn’t fail. Megan is safe, and I’m right here.”

“I did fail. As a husband. I knew something was wrong and should have forced this conversation sooner. I will never let that happen again. I’m not perfect, no one is. I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you’ve told me the truth. You’re right. I don’t like some of what I heard, only because it kills me to see you hurting, to see you this unhappy, but that's OK. We can’t make things right if we can't be honest with each other.”

“Will we make things right?” she whispered.

“Yes. I promise, Diane. Whatever it takes. I’m not naive to think it will be fixed overnight, but I’m in this for the long haul. This conversation is just the start. You deserve to be happy, Angel. To have a rich and fulfilling life. You can have that.”

“But I don’t know what that looks like anymore.”

“You don't need to know right now. Tell me something. When was the last time you felt truly happy?”

He could tell she knew exactly when, and it didn't her take long to answer.

“Before I became a lawyer.”

But that was the last thing Steve had expected to hear. Before he could respond, his phone rang. He cursed. “I’m sorry. It’s Dex.”

Diane gave him a small smile. “Take it. Hopefully, he has good news. I’m going to go get ready for bed. I’m all cried out and exhausted.”

He answered the call before it went to voicemail. “Dex, can you hang on one minute?”

Then he muted the phone.

“We’re not done with this conversation.”

She nodded. “I know.”

Looking into her eyes, he swallowed at the sadness there. Conscious Dex was waiting, he gently kissed her lips and was rewarded with another smile.

“I’ll be up soon. We will sort this out. Trust me,” he said.