Page 13 of Sea's Secret

How did I not know this?

The rest of the evening, he held my hand and was the perfect betrothed mer, but all the emotions and excitement of being matched at long last were not there. I felt empty. How could it be? It had been the thing I was most looking forward to.

“So?” Rina asked the next morning, singing as she swam into my room with her twins in her arms. They were fast asleep, one against each shoulder, their small matching purple fins slowly swaying. I longed for that–how perfect those beautiful babies were.

“Oh, are they sleeping? I want to hold them,” I said, moving to my sister. She smiled, and I could tell she was somewhat relieved by the break. I pulled the two precious mermaids into my arms as they continued to sleep. Their warmth against me caused me to smile, complimenting the small smiles they kept in their sleep. There was nothing more beautiful than those little faces. How amazing it was to think that those sweet, little ones had just been with the Creator. How pure and lovely.

“So, what?” I asked, still feeling conflicted and confused about what I knew she was asking me. I tried to soak up the babies’ sweetness and not focus on my own troubles.

“Did he ask you?” she asked, swimming up to me where I sat on my large shell bed.

“He did.”

“And? What’s going on? You do not seem excited at all!” she sang with a frown.

“He said he doesn't like children, Rina. He only wants one or two,” I sang softly.

“So?”

“I deeply desire children,” I clarified, looking at my two nieces. How could he not want such sweet, little babies?

“Oh, as if it goes as planned as all that,” Rina sang with an eye roll.

“You were blessed with six children,” Although my sister was married only five moon cycles earlier, she had given birth three times. Once to triplets, then to one, and again to the beautiful twins asleep in my arms. Many mermaids had twins and other multiple children. Her triplets were three moon cycles old; her third delivery, her twins, had only just been born.

“Yes, and I love each of them.” Her smile was warm as she looked at her two daughters. Even though merlings could be a lot of work, I had seen each and every one of my sisters come into their motherhood, and I understood that the balance was sometimes difficult. They were each a different kind of mother, but I longed for my own chance to see what kind of mother I would be. I could not help but long for such priceless work. It seemed like the work I had been designed for, and I craved it with every single one of my scales.

“Well, once you have one daughter, she will be wrapped around his tail, so he will beg for more. That was how it was with my Dylan.”

“He desires only sons.”

“Well, that isn't something that can be controlled, but Dylan also wanted a son. That's normal, I think, for mermen.”

“It just–it makes me–”

“Oh hush. He is a good merman, Meria. Father approves, and he would not let you pair with someone who wouldn’t treat you right. You asked him to find someone for you. He knows Edmar is right for you.”

“I am not saying he isn’t a good merman,” I sang. I knew I could not say too much. I could not give away my traitor's heart.

Maybe he isn't the right merman for me. Maybe the Creator has someone else out there for me. Someone who wants more than one or two children, someone who maybe elicits some kind of feeling within me when his lips touch mine. Is that too much to ask for? It’s what I want, and I see it is that way for Rina.

“You are surprising me with all this. Well, you love him, don't you?”

“Yes–” I sang, unsure.

“I know you love children. You are a wonderful aunt. You will be a wonderful mother, and I am sure he will agree. Maybe, let him know how much it means to you. In a marriage, there are many compromises you have to make. Maybe, this could be one he makes. Like with the twins, Dylan often cares for them in the mornings so I can attend meetings. But I care for them in the evenings so he can attend his meetings.”

“Yes, I am sure you are right,” I said. Compromise. We could come up with a suitable arrangement. I shifted a bit, and one of the girls woke up, her bright blue eyes alight. Rina looked down at her daughter and reached for her. I reluctantly let her take both babies from my arms, leaving my arms cold without them.

“Anyways, I have to go–but I told Coral I would get her abalone strand back.”

“I can give them to her. I wanted to see the boys later today.” Coral had triplet boys, and while rowdy and always swimming into some kind of trouble, they were so fun.

“Oh, she and the boys are traveling to the red coral today,” Rina said as she swam over to my vanity shell and grabbed the strand with her tail, as her hands were full with children.

“Really?”

“Yes, but Pearl is around.” She swam from my room, turning around to call back, “Love you, sister. All will be well.”