Page 22 of Devil May Lie

“So, what are you confused about specifically? Give it to me plainly and maybe I can help.”

What was he confused about? There were too many things to express, and he wasn’t sure he’d be able to with words alone. He couldn’t expose everything to Yuze, even if the two of them were friends. Madden hadn’t been wrong when he’d said there’d be consequence if it got out that Berga had slipped him an aphrodisiac.

“I suppose I’m unsure which I prefer all of a sudden,” Berga ended up saying tentatively. He tapped his chin. “Yes, that’s most likely the crux of it. I enjoyed sex with this person a lot, but it’s unclear if that was due to the change in my usual position or because of them specifically.”

“Why don’t you test it out?” Yuze suggested.

Berga shook his head. “I won’t sleep with him again.”

“That’s not what I meant. I mean, what’s it like when you touch yourself now?”

“What?” He frowned. “Are you asking me to masturbate?”

“Have you…not done so since fucking this person?” Yuze appeared as though he was judging him. For that, of all things. “Wow. I can’t go a day without reaching at least one climax. Takes the edge off. No wonder you look so out of it. Give it a try, Butcher, trust me. Play with yourself a little and—Whoa!” He flung his arms up and hid his face behind the tablet when Berga started to undo his belt. “I didn’t mean in front of me! Wait till I leave at least, damn!”

“What am I looking for?” Berga ignored him, slipped the belt loose, and then went for his zipper.

“You really are dangerous.” He peeked over the top of the device, gaze brightening some when he dropped it to Berga’s bare legs as he removed his pants. “You sure about that thing you said earlier? Maybe I can be your type.”

“You don’t want to fuck me,” Berga drawled.

“I don’t know, I’m feeling like right now maybe I do.”

“Get out, Yuze.”

“Fine.” He took a step toward the exit and then turned back. “Try and picture having sex, you know, like imagine it. Don’t force it though, just allow your mind to conjure whatever fantasy it pleases.”

“That’s not safe for someone like me,” Berga warned. Typically, he tried to avoid allowing his mind to conjure anything at all, let alone whatever it wanted. He braced himself, but nothing odd happened despite his thinking about his condition. There was only Yuze and him in the room. No one else. A good sign. “All right. I’ll give it an attempt.”

“Good luck!” He gave him a thumbs up and then left, shutting the door with a click behind him.

Berga hooked his thumbs in his boxers and then paused. Perhaps he shouldn’t be doing this out in the open, in the middle of his lab. His feet were still covered in plastic, and he was wearing gloves, but the idea of having to clean up any sort of messes like the one he’d made at school the other day…

The one that had miraculously not been there when Berga had come in the next morning.

Had Madden cleaned up for him before leaving?

That was…thoughtful.

“Shower.” That was it. He’d go to the bathroom to conduct this evaluation.

His lab at the Bunker was far more sophisticated and equipped than the one assigned to him at Vail University. Instead of the small shower tucked into the corner, there was an entire en suite attachment, so Berga could easily spend the night or catch some sleep during the day if needed. The bathroom had both a shower stall and a tub, and while he usually used the stall because it was quicker, he found himself hesitating in front of the wooden tub.

It was rectangular, with two steps leading up to the lip. Large enough to fit two grown men; he recalled Flix joking when Berga had chosen that particular model. It was about whether Berga wanted to use it to relax or merely wanted more storage space for the bodies.

He’d never once put a body in here.

That would be disgusting.

Berga hit the buttons on the remote attached to the side of the wall, setting it for hotter than most people would prefer, and then listened as water began to flood from the faucet. He removed the rest of his clothing, setting it off to the side as he gave what he was about to do one last consideration.

Was he really going to listen to Yuze?

It couldn’t hurt.

Maybe he was right about the need to climax, if nothing else. Perhaps that’s all this feeling really was. Berga was backed up since it’d been a couple of days.

He rolled his eyes at himself as he moved to enter the tub, carefully lowering himself into the heated water with a sigh. If nothing else, this was going to help with his achy muscles. He hadn’t been sleeping well either, plagued by dreams of the Mad King, sometimes fucking him, other times laughing at him. It was the latter type that made Berga wake with a knot in his throat, gasping for breath with unshed tears in his eyes.