Page 4 of Wish You Were Mine

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” I refused to meet his eyes. My gut rolled nauseatingly. I didn’t want to hear him flirting with another woman, but there was no other choice, and the longer he dragged it out, the more awkward this would become.

He pulled out a chair for his date, and then sat. I tried very hard not to listen as the server took their drink order.

Ben leaned across the table toward me. “What was that about?”

I grimaced. “He’s my brother’s best friend. We don’t get along very well.”

“Oh.” He glanced around, and then said, “We could go somewhere else if you prefer. Or see if we can take our meals to go?”

“It’s fine.” If I said it enough times, maybe it would become true. “Thank you, though. That was a kind offer.”

He seemed like a good person, and he deserved better than a half-hearted date. Unfortunately, I felt nothing for him but gratitude and a general sense of liking. Nothing on the same level as the belly flips and heart flutters I experienced when Asher was around.

I’d come to hate those intensely.

Our meals arrived nine minutes later. I knew this because every second that passed with Asher next to me, on a date with another woman, was downright excruciating. I plastered a smile on my face and told Ben about my big, chaotic family while he did his best to entertain me with stories from his accountancy firm, but my heart wasn’t in it.

All I could think of was whether Asher intended to kiss his date after dinner…or take her home with him.

When she reached across the table and touched his hand, my teeth gritted, and I nearly growled at her. I wanted to shout that Asher was mine and that if she had a problem with that, she could wrestle me. Winner takes all. Growing up with five brothers had honed my wrestling skills.

But I wasn’t feral, so I settled for ignoring her.

My chicken was perfectly cooked, as was Ben’s steak, but I barely noticed as I ate on autopilot. I managed to maintain a conversation about university, and another about my favorite places to hike—apparently, he was an indoor guy, so maybe he wasn’t perfect after all.

Once we’d finished the meal, I excused myself to the bathroom and returned just in time to hear Asher’s date let out a peal of laughter as pretty as she was.

“Can we go?” I asked Ben quietly. “I don’t feel well.”

“Sure.”

We paid the bill fifty-fifty and I donned my coat before we exited the building. It was June, and we were coming into winter, so the sky was dark, and a chill had already descended over the mountainside. We walked to Ben’s car, and he opened the passenger door for me like a gentleman.

I felt nothing other than guilt.

“Could we have a do-over?” I asked when he settled into the driver’s seat. “Perhaps in Queenstown?”

That was where he lived, and we were far less likely to run into anyone I knew there, than here.

He glanced at me as he started the engine. “I don’t think there’s any point seeing each other again when you’re clearly not emotionally available.”

My shoulders slumped and the guilt sunk its teeth in harder. “I’m so sorry.”

If he’d picked up on it, I must have been obvious. How mortifying.

He smiled, and to my surprise, it was gentle rather than annoyed. “I know how it feels. I’ve been there. But there’s still no point wasting each other’s time.”

“I know,” I whispered, staring out the window so he wouldn’t see the tears trying to come to the surface. Why did he have to be so understanding? And why did my heart insist on beating for Asher and no one else? I wished I could be something other than a mess who ruined any chance of having a real relationship.

We didn’t talk much while Ben drove me home, but the silence wasn’t awkward. It was resigned. We’d both accepted that nothing else would happen between us, and fortunately, neither of us was too hurt by that.

He took the mountain road slowly and drove to my cottage on the far side of Destiny Falls. I thanked him, said goodnight, and made my way to the front door. My heart ached with how much I wished there was someone inside, waiting for me to come home.

Nights like tonight, loneliness pressed in on me, and I could no longer pretend not to feel it.

I entered, locked the door behind myself, and checked my phone. There was a message from Asher. I opened it.