Page 67 of Inevitable

“You don’t really like them.” Ezra wasn’t asking.

“I don’t dislike them. They do their best, but their priorities leave a lot to be desired.”

“But Bas doesn’t have any hard feelings?”

“I was a dick. I didn’t want to hear what he was saying, so I just… lashed out. And I did it in the most horrible way possible. He has been nothing but understanding, and I went and threw it in his face that he’s never been abandoned like I was. Who the fuck does something like that?”

“You’ll make up once he’s calmed down,” Ezra said as he trailed his fingers over Drew’s forearms.

“Yeah, but do I deserve it?”

“People say things they don’t necessarily mean when emotions are running high. Bas gets it. It’s not like he was all that reasonable either.”

Drew chuckled. “This is nice. Having a calming influence in the midst of our fight.”

“You don’t look like you need one.”

“I’ve had time to think things through, but most of it is just the façade. I’m still pissed.” Drew took a shuddering breath. “Life would be so much easier if people wouldn’t be judgmental assholes. Parents are supposed to love their kids. There shouldn’t be a set of conditions attached to that love. It shouldn’t be I love you, if.” He gave a humorless chuckle. “What sucks is that I had a good family. Not something out of a fairy tale, but a solid unit. We actually liked each other. We enjoyed spending time together. We had family trips and game nights. It’s all a thing of the past now, I suppose.”

Drew closed his eyes and pressed his head tighter against Ezra like he was drawing strength from their closeness.

“Now my brothers are on the West Coast. They barely come back anymore, and when they do, their visits are not some kind of a fun family reunion. Instead, we’ll have a quick lunch, where every conversation is a minefield. Ellie has kids, but I know she’s tired of always calculating when it’s safe to ask me over or celebrating things twice so that I could be included…

“So I’m trying to open some kind of a line of communication with my family again. I know my brothers resent me at least a little bit. I’m the one who caused all this mess, after all. I want to see if there is something to salvage there. It’s been over a decade since I came out to my parents. The world has changed. Bas doesn’t believe it, but time can change people’s opinions. Churches are changing their stances on homosexuality. There have been a lot of changes in legislation over the past decade and a half, so who’s to say my family isn’t able to come around? If nothing else, at least my parents seem like they’re willing to try.”

Drew sounded almost pleading, and Ezra suspected part of it was because Bas didn’t have any confidence in Drew’s parents changing their minds.

“I think people are never too old to see things in a new light,” he said slowly. He wanted to reassure Drew, but he was also aware of the fact that he didn’t know enough of the situation to give his opinion.

“Bas thinks I’m wasting my time. I can see where he’s coming from. He saw the damage and put me back together. He doesn’t want to see me go through this again. And that’s only the tip of the iceberg. My parents didn’t just abandon me. My mom went from baking Bas cookies and helping us with our homework to telling him he was no longer allowed in her house.” Ezra could feel the anger vibrating through Drew.

“It sucks,” Drew continued. “All of it. But if I don’t try, I will regret it.”

“Then you should,” Ezra simply said.

“I don’t always have the best judgment.”

Ezra pressed his palm against Drew’s chest, right where Drew’s heart was beating in a steady rhythm.

“You trust your gut,” he said. “And you already told me what that tells you to do.”

“What if my gut is wrong?”

“Then we’ll deal with the consequences.” Ezra took Drew’s hand and squeezed it. “Yes, your parents have treated you like shit, but I understand why you want to try and reconnect. It’s family. They’ll always be a part of you.” He debated about saying the next part but then went ahead anyway. “And if nothing comes of it, at least you’ll get closure.”

“Yeah.” He pulled Ezra closer until Ezra was lying on his chest before he sighed and relaxed a bit.

“I want to fix things, but I won’t let it happen at the expense of my feelings and my sanity. If they want me in their life, they have to understand it. But I can’t just dump everything on them. I have to have some sort of a plan for to rebuild the relationship.”

Ezra kissed Drew’s chest.

“It’ll be okay. One way or another.”

He really hoped he wasn’t lying.

22

It was morning by the time Bas came home. Ezra’s eyes blinked open at the loud thumps and swears coming from the hallway. Somebody was pissed at his shoes.