Page 90 of Inevitable

Maybe he could have dealt with a life without all those things before. Before he knew what it was like to love Drew and Ezra. Before he knew what it was like to be loved by them.

How was he supposed to give it all up now?

The answer was already inside him. He couldn’t. Maybe it was selfish. Maybe it wasn’t. He still wasn’t sure. There were no concrete answers or perfect clarity when it came to feelings, but right then there was hope.

“I love you,” Ezra repeated, murmuring the words into Bas’s ear. “You always talk about being selfish, so now it’s my turn. I’m asking you to stay. I don’t want to do this without you. I don’t want to be just your friend. I want to love you and Drew both. Freely and openly and without having to hide. Because we deserve it. You deserve it. People make their own choices. If leaving is what Drew’s family ends up doing, then that’s their choice. But we don’t have to make sacrifices for them. There’s no point.”

He just kept holding Bas, and Bas tried to imagine his life without Ezra and Drew in it. Lonely days stretching into weeks and months, always aware of what he’d lost. No, not lost. If Drew and Ezra decided to walk away, it would be because he’d pushed them away.

Bas let out a pathetic little hiccup as he wrapped his arms around Ezra.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered against Ezra’s shoulder. “I panicked. I’m sorry. I love you, too. So much. I was an idiot, but I’m going to fix it.”

Ezra’s arms tightened around him as he pulled Bas closer.

“I know. You always do.”

They stood on the quiet sidewalk, and right then, all Bas could feel was hope.

28

“Shit!”

What the hell was wrong with that damn door? He turned the key at least three times before he figured out the door was unlocked.

“Of course,” Drew mumbled as he pushed the door open and stepped inside. It was nearing dawn. His fingertips were ice-cold, and he stopped to blow on them.

His eyes found Bas the moment he stepped into the living room. The man was sitting on the couch, looking straight at Drew.

“Hi,” Bas said softly. Ezra was spread out next to him on the couch, head in Bas’s lap, dead to the world.

“Hi.”

Drew slowly walked toward the couch. He smiled when he looked at Ezra.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Bas’s voice was quiet.

Drew kept his eyes on Ezra. He wasn’t quite ready to face Bas yet. Wasn’t quite ready to face the mess that was their relationship.

“I know,” he said. “What I don’t know is if you still plan to go through with it.”

“I thought you said I wasn’t allowed.” Bas shrugged. He tried to go for a smile, but it failed miserably.

“You know as well as I do I can’t exactly force you to stay.”

Bas got up, gently removing himself from underneath Ezra. The man didn’t even move.

Bas stood in front of Drew. He looked like he was going to touch Drew, but at the last moment, he seemed to change his mind.

“I don’t want to break up,” he said. “I just wanted so badly to make your problems go away that I ended up hurting you even more. I don’t know what I was thinking. I probably wasn’t thinking. I just… acted.”

“You tend to do that.”

Bas crossed his arms on his chest and stuffed his hands underneath his armpits, as if that was the only way to keep them away from Drew.

“You were right, I was behaving like an idiot,” he said. “And I’m sorry.”

Drew nodded. “I know you are.”