Page 92 of Inevitable

“Laugh away. Once I’m done with you, you’ll be so loved up you can’t see straight.”

Drew couldn’t help but smile, even though he felt brittle. Like one more wrong word could break everything.

“Promise?”

Instead of joking back, though, Bas’s voice was filled with conviction.

“Yes.”

He wanted to believe Bas. He did. But the doubts nagged and pecked and clawed in the back of his mind. Bas would get bored. He’d leave. He’d start to feel insecure. He’d sabotage things.

“I’ll order a pizza,” Drew said, drowning out the voice inside his head.

Bas nodded.

* * *

The dinners became a nightly thing. Bas didn’t skip a single one. More often than not, Drew came home to the sight of him and Ezra cooking and talking and laughing.

Bas stopped by Drew’s office several times a week. He brought lunch. Sandwiches from the deli on the corner. Takeout from the Mexican place they’d always liked. Hot dogs from a food truck that occasionally stopped near Drew’s office building.

Sometimes they ate in Drew’s office, but when the weather was nice, they usually ended up in a nearby park.

There were no grand declarations or over-the-top gestures. They talked a lot. About everyday things. Life. Work. Weekend plans.

Ezra came with Bas from time to time, but he was busy with graduation, so he was studying a lot. Or maybe it was an excuse to give Bas and Drew time to mend what was broken. Drew didn’t know, but the possibility of forcing Ezra away from them added another layer of guilt.

Curiosity got the better of him one day.

“Of course I’m keeping away,” Ezra said, but he did so with an easy shrug, not looking like he considered it a problem.

“You shouldn’t.” Drew kicked a pebble. He had met Ezra at the library, and now the two of them were walking home through the early Boston evening.

“Stop looking at me like I’m a poor orphan boy.” Ezra bumped his shoulder into Drew’s. “I’m giving you time to fix this. In order for this relationship to work, all the fragments have to be whole. This is not just one big relationship. There are also the separate relationships between me and you, me and Bas, and you and Bas. All those parts have to function. And right now, you and Bas need time to work through your issues. I’m not cutting myself off. I’m just giving you two some extra time.”

Drew couldn’t say he liked the fact that he and Bas needed time. He didn’t want Ezra to feel abandoned or set aside. Ezra didn’t seem worried about any of that.

“How do you do it?”

“Do what?” Ezra had a small smile on his face as he walked. He had stuffed his hands in his pockets, and his hair was a wild mess that hadn’t seen a comb in a few days. He was gorgeous. And he looked completely at ease with the world. Gone was the cautious, pessimistic man from that long-ago winter’s day. Ezra was the calm one. The one who kept a cool head and his wits about him. Drew wanted to be more like him.

“Trust that he doesn’t leave again,” Drew asked. “How do you know? I mean, the dinner thing is all good and well. I believe he means to stay. I believe he doesn’t plan to go. But what if something happens again? How do you know he won’t get it into his head again that we’d be better off without him?”

Ezra pursed his lips.

“He loves us,” he said.

Drew harrumphed.

“I know he does,” he said. “I know. But leaving would be something he’d do because he loves us. That’s what the other day was about, wasn’t it? That’s what’s tripping me up most about this thing.”

Ezra stopped walking and turned toward Drew.

“You can’t approach this with cold, hard logic,” he said. “You have to feel trust. You can’t conjure it up via evidence. You can only go that far with facts here. It’s like standing on the edge of a cliff. In the end, you have to decide whether or not you’re going to jump and trust Bas and I both to be there to catch you. There’s no rush, though. It doesn’t have to happen overnight. Bas doesn’t expect this to be solved in a day. So for now, let’s just live. And stop trying so hard. You can’t fix things with force. Be patient with yourself. It’ll happen one day. You’ll see. One of these days you’ll realize that you trust him to stay.”

Drew just stood there and looked at Ezra. Basked in his presence. Thanked all the lucky stars for that one moment that made their paths cross. He’d been the catalyst for change that had given them all a chance to build something, and now he was the calm, steady presence. Somebody who believed in all of them. That they’d work it out. That this was just a bump in the road that wouldn’t break them.

He pulled Ezra into a hug, not paying any attention to the pissed-off looks they received for blocking part of the sidewalk. For the first time in weeks, the thought of Bas and their relationship didn’t make him anxious. Instead, he felt lighter. Almost hopeful. Ezra had removed some of the pressure to just get over things.