Page 28 of Nitro

Nitro frowned, reaching for my hand across the table.

“Don’t ever let me hear you say that word again. You’re not a freak, Tommy. You’re far from it,” Nitro said.

I gently untangled my fingers from his and laughed harshly.

“I’m sure none of your dates reacted the way I did earlier,” I said.

“Tommy, you’re a survivor. Be proud of that. Not many people could endure what you did and go on living,” Nitro said, taking my hands again.

He looked deep into my eyes, and for a second there, I thought he could see everything.

All my flaws and uncertainties. The darkness that nestled in me, and would stay with me my entire life.

I felt like crying, which wasn’t what I wanted.

Bawling my eyes out while we were on our date would make things worse, but Nitro didn’t realize how much his heartfelt words meant to me.

Nitro released my hands, only to grab a napkin. He leaned over the table, wiping the tears from my eyes.

“Why is it you always know the right words to say?” I asked him.

Nitro smiled at that. I snatched a few more tissues and cleaned my face up.

“Do over?” I asked him.

“Of course. Can I tell you a secret, Tommy?” Nitro asked.

“Sure,” I answered.

“I was nervous about tonight as well,” Nitro admitted.

That confession took me by complete surprise because Nitro always seemed confident. He always knew what he was doing.

“Really? Or are you just telling me that to make me feel better?” I asked.

“Really,” Nitro confirmed. “The last time I went out on a real date was years ago, when I was with Gin.”

I was betting Gin didn’t have a near panic attack when he and Nitro went out.

Gin was probably perfect, good-looking, and had his act together.

“Gin was a looker, sure, but he’s empty and toxic inside,” Nitro said, looking distracted.

I flushed, not realizing I uttered my thoughts out loud.

“I shouldn’t have brought him up,” Nitro said, finally looking at me. “Besides, I prefer you any day. If I met you first, we’d probably be mated and have kids by now.”

I sucked in a breath. Firstly, that wouldn’t be possible, considering I was still Hicks’ captive during that period.

Nitro realized it too because he furrowed his brows and apologized. Secondly, the mention of having kids made my heart race.

“Do you…want kids?” I finally asked.

“My tongue slipped. It’s too early to be thinking about all that, of course,” Nitro said quickly. “Man, I’m really screwing this date up, aren’t I?”

I shook my head. For a moment, I debated telling Nitro I wouldn’t be able to give him kids.

Then I remembered Nitro also refrained from telling me what eventually happened with Gin and his former best friend.