Page 67 of Won't Back Down
Did pregnancy work that way? I had no idea. I hadn’t been around but for the occasional short visit while she’d incubated Aubrey and Logan, and I’d only been six during my mother’s last pregnancy. After what had happened to her, I steered clear of pregnant women. But I wondered about it now. What would it be like to be there, day to day, to see all those changes? Was that something I wanted? Did Willa? We certainly hadn’t discussed it. But if we were serious about making a real go of this marriage, it was bound to come up, eventually. Was I willing to take that risk with her life?
“When are you due?” Jace’s question jerked me back from the precipice of a mental rabbit hole I wasn’t prepared to explore.
“November 23rd,” Hoyt announced. “Just in time to make room for turkey and all the trimmings for Thanksgiving.”
“You better believe your mama’s making me an entire pan of her sweet potato casserole that’s all mine since this baby is entirely her fault.” When I lifted a brow, she explained, “She was the one who gifted us the tequila.”
Against a patter of laughter, we helped gather up their empty dishes and food containers.
Caroline hugged me, then Jace. “Stay safe and come home again soon.”
“I’ll do my best.”
Then they made their way up the stairs to the house.
“And then there were six,” Bree intoned. “Anybody want another beer?”
More than a little unsettled by the direction of my thoughts, I lifted a hand. “I’m for that. This latest test batch is excellent.”
“Pretty sure I’m putting it on the menu. Gotta think of a good name first, though.”
Willa dug around in one of the totes. “I’m going to go romp with the pups to let them run off some energy before we lose the last of the light, and then I’m straight up making another s’more. I’ll concede Nutella isn’t bad, but I’m still a Reese’s girl.” She came up with a yellow tennis ball. At the sight of it, Roy leapt up, turning circles in ecstasy. His obvious joy brought a light to her eyes.
“Let me know when you’re nearly done. I’ll have a marshmallow toasted and waiting for you.”
“That’s a deal.” She grinned and swooped in for a fast kiss. “This marriage thing has great perks.”
As her brother was right there, I resisted the urge to make reference to any other perks, but I definitely thought about them. From the heat that leapt into her gaze, so did she.
“C’mon pups!”
“Guess we’ll see how well you behave.” Bree unclipped Keeley’s leash, and the smaller dog raced after her new best buddies toward the water.
Willa hurled the ball, laughing as both dogs streaked down the beach. The sound carried to me on the breeze, reminding me so much of that long-ago night, I felt a prickle of déjà vu. This was a much smaller group, and the air didn’t carry that electric feeling that presaged a storm. But all of us had been at that bonfire. Was anybody else remembering?
Jace nudged my shoulder. “Hey. You okay? You look like you’re thinking deep thoughts.”
“I was thinking about the bonfire.”
I didn’t have to specify which one.
Gabi extended a marshmallow toward the flames of the small one we’d been cooking over. “I guess we haven’t all been together like this since that night. Not all of us. Willa didn’t come to any that summer before y’all left for the Navy.”
I wondered if she’d been to any at all since she’d returned to the island. Or had that been something else she’d avoided? I’d always believed she’d come back to Hatterwick to reclaim the life her parents had ripped away, but I was coming to understand that, in her own way, she was still running from the trauma of that night.
She’d raked me over the coals for the guilt I’d carried all these years, but it was hard not to wonder how things might have been different if I hadn’t helped her sneak out for that party. I wanted to believe she wouldn’t have drowned, but she’d said she would have found another way. If she had, I wouldn’t have even been there, because I’d only come for her. If she’d snuck out on her own, we might have lost her entirely, along with Gwen. We probably wouldn’t be here now, and she almost certainly wouldn’t be my wife.
My gaze tracked back to where she danced in the waves, the dogs at her heels. “Why did she leave the beach?” I hadn’t intended to bring it up, but the question just spilled out.
Everyone’s attention zeroed in on me.
“What do you mean?” Jace asked.
“Willa is a rule follower. I gave her ground rules that night, one of which was not to leave without one of us. She wouldn’t have done it without a good reason.”
Daniel kicked back, crossing his legs at the ankles. “Really? I mean, she would’ve been… what? Sixteen? Hardly a child. And it’s not like this island is big. I expect she could’ve walked on home if she’d had a mind to.”
“Could have, yeah, but wouldn’t have,” Jace said. “Not by herself. She was… sheltered back then.”