Page 10 of The Awakening
What the fuck have we done? After kidnapping the girl, an absolute angel of a girl, we were instructed to bring her to Stone Fortress! Fucking Stone Fortress! What have we done bringing her to that place? Since when has this organization been involved in delivering girls to sex trafficking rings? Something is wrong and the guys agree with me. She won’t be there for long; we’re getting her back. This was never supposed to happen. We don’t do jobs like this. We take out the bad guys, not deliver innocent women to them. We’ll get her back, and if anyone touches her before we get there, God save their soul.
I run upstairs and clean myself up a bit from Dean’s and my escapades in the kitchen. I jump into the shower, giving myself a quick wash, careful not to get my hair wet. After my two-minute shower, I get dressed in my usual training clothes—jeans and a long-sleeved shirt—before grabbing my tennis shoes and heading back downstairs.
Before reaching the stairs, I stop outside Colson’s room, staring at his closed door. Closing my eyes for a second, I remember what he said this morning, or rather the ghost I’m assuming was him.
Focus on me.
Inhaling a deep breath, I repeat this over and over in my head until I can see Colson’s image perfectly in my mind.
Focus on me.
Everett was right. I need to focus on a memory that is so strong it drowns out the chaos that will be ensuing around me. Colson, he is my memory, my happiest memory that will guide me through the depths of hell and back to the light.
Focus on me.
“Focus on you,” I whisper to myself, inhaling another deep breath before opening my eyes again. My body suddenly feels calmer, lighter, and at ease with what is coming today. As long as I focus on him, my mind will be safe. I will be safe. Straightening my back, I start for the stairs, walking a little bit taller than I was before. His image, his face, his presence will get me through this, I know it.
Everett has made us all his infamous French toast, complete with fresh strawberries and whipped cream on top. My absolute favorite. I take my time with breakfast, enjoying every bite as the three of us sit at the island and silently enjoy our meal. Everett and Dean are just as nervous as I am, and the tension in the room is palpable.
I practice forming his image in my mind with every bite. Reconstructing his golden skin, his toned physique, the way his long blond hair always framed his face, even when he had it pulled back in a bun. His bright smile that always promised mischief. The dimple in his left cheek that would appear only when he tried to hide his devilish grin. The way his golden eyes would lock on mine, causing my knees to go weak with just one look. I can almost feel him, the way his body was a furnace, radiating heat just from being near him. In my mind, I could almost reach out and touch him. This is what he meant when he said focus on me. When I’m focusing on him, nothing else matters around me.
A smile creeps across my face at the perfectly formed image of Colson in my head.
“What are you smiling about, love?” Everett’s smooth voice causes me to flinch out of my daydream. My eyes snap to him. I see that both of them have finished their plates, and their eyes are fixated on me. No doubt wondering what the fuck I’m thinking about.
“I’m doing what you said, focusing on a memory.” I don’t give the details of what this memory is, just the indication that it’s a good one and will be of great value to me in the simulation room. A small humming noise comes from Everett, and he nods his head in understanding.
“From here, it looks like you have a pretty solid memory. Don’t lose it. Focus on it,” Dean says between his sips of coffee.
And I will.
This is how I will succeed in the simulations. I will beat this like I’ve beaten everything in my life thus far.
Colson is with me.
Finishing breakfast, the three of us clean up our plates and finish getting our bags ready before heading to the Range Rover. I take up the passenger seat as Everett gets in the driver's seat. Dean is stretched out in the back, his laptop resting on his thighs as he starts typing away. As we take off down the driveway, I can feel my heart rate pick up speed as the image of the house fades in the distance. I know this day will only be worse than yesterday.
Each day, the simulations get more and more disturbing and traumatic. So I’ve been told. Yesterday was just the beginning of my emotional training camp. If yesterday was just the beginning, I can’t say I’m not scared shitless for what’s to come. Staring out the window, I can feel my mouth turn dry, my jaw is tight from me clenching it so hard, and I fear I might break a tooth.
I reach for my water bottle in the cup holder, pop open the silicone straw, and take a few long sips.
“You’ll be okay, baby girl, you are so much stronger than you know.” Everett reaches his hand over, resting it on top of my thigh giving it a small squeeze. I turn to him, looking at the side of his face as his gaze remains on the road. I open my mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. Licking my lips, I try again, but I can’t say a word or even form a sentence.
Suddenly, the side of Everett’s face starts fading to a blur. The once sharp edges of his jaw have become smoother—softer and more unfocused. Black spots begin speckling my vision, and no matter how much I try to blink away this distortion, it progresses even more. The interior of the vehicle starts to lose its shape, everything mushing together into one giant blob of confusion. I can no longer distinguish between the dashboard, the steering wheel, and the stereo monitor. Everything is now a large pool of colors.
I open my mouth again to ask what the fuck is going on, but again, nothing comes out.
“Just sit back, love, let it take hold of you. We didn’t want to stick you again, so we—” Then my hearing goes. I can’t hear whatever Everett was about to say, or was that Dean’s voice? Everything is a kaleidoscope of colors, and I swear I can see words. Strong hands grab my shoulders, pulling me back to my chair, and I give in. Letting my head rest back on the seat, I close my eyes to the madness. It’s happening again. This is my entrance to the simulation. No use in fighting the inevitable.
Let’s get this over with.
September 18, 2021
She’s here. She’s with us, under our roof and safe from the confines of Stone Fortress. She’s so unafraid, so calm, so unlike anyone I’ve ever met. She’s been kidnapped again, and she acts as though this is not the worst thing to ever happen to her. Who is this girl? She put up a good fight as the three of us were escorting her to the car, but one girl against three guys is not a fair fight. She accepted the inevitable and came with us. I don’t feel bad, because honestly, if she knew what was waiting for her at Stone Fortress, she would be thanking us for retrieving her. Then again, she still has no idea the three of us are the reason she was there in the first place. This should be an interesting conversation when the time comes. I’ll leave that to Everett.
It’s bone-chillingly cold here. My skin has tightened to an uncomfortable state as my body tries to hold on to any warmth my body has left. My eyelids are excruciatingly heavy; it’s too hard to open them. I want to see where I’m at, but I’m so tired, so drained. Why is it so cold? Inhaling through my nose, a familiar stench invades my nostrils, causing me to freeze. Lying utterly still, I manage to peel open my eyes. The room is spinning, and I can’t distinguish if I’m inside or outside. Everything is spinning.
For fuck’s sake.