Page 16 of Unholy Matrimony

I reach out and grab his face in my hands; I pull his forehead to my lips and softly place a kiss there. “I will be your light, moy lev3. In times of chaos, I will be the anchor that keeps you grounded. You keep your wedding vows to me and I will stay by your side. That means no other women, ever. You will never hurt me, or any children if we have them. Your family comes first. Can you accept that?” I give my promise and ultimatum to him and wait for a response. He brings my hands to his lips, kissing each of my palms, bringing each finger to his lips as he kisses them.

“I swear to you, moya lyubov4. There will never be another but you. The children we will have will have a devoted papa. I would die for you and them. You will never have to doubt that. You will never question my loyalty to you.” He holds my hands over his heart. “If you ever doubt that, you take our children and you leave.” I nod, letting him know I understand.

“Give me those lips, Tsvetok,5” and he pulls my mouth to his. His kiss is like the best kind of sin, full of sweetness and passion. With a swift motion, he stands up and carries me, wrapping my legs around him for support. He carries me to the island and sits me atop it. His hands glide up my back as he plants a soft kiss on my neck. He nips at my earlobe, taking it in his mouth. I let out a stifled moan. “Keep moaning like that and you might not make it to the altar a virgin. I’ll have you right here on this counter.”

Just as I am about to challenge his words, his phone rings. “Der’mo,6 it's almost six! I have to go, malyshka7. A car will be waiting at seven to take you ladies shopping. Reaching into his wallet, he hands me a black card. “The pin 0991. Spend as much as you want.” He quickly kisses me and leaves the room.

After a few minutes of sitting on the counter, touching my neck where his lips are now absent. I replay his words in my mind. There will never be another but you. You are the light to my darkness. I never thought I'd fall for someone this quickly, but here I am, falling for him… hard. The desire to have him on that counter consumed me, and I was willing to give anything for that moment. I hop off the counter, clear my dish, and take my book back to our room.

Walking back down the hall, Alina greets me. “Good morning Madam, you are an earlier riser like Leonid. I will adjust my schedule so you will have breakfast ready.”

“ I am more than capable of making my breakfast, Alina. Keep the schedule Leonid has always had.” I soften my voice, so it doesn't sound harsh.

Alina smiles. “You are a tough one. You remind me of Leonid’s mother. She always wanted to do things herself. Even at the end, she still tried to bake for him. You will be good for him.”

Alina walks away towards the back of the house. I enter our room and flop onto our bed. Looking around and my eyes landing on the spot where Lenya ravished me, biting my lower lip, I remembered how sexy he was. Looking at the clock, knowing I’ll be leaving in an hour, I groan. I typically hate clothes shopping, but this should be fun. I had always imagined that finding a dress for my wedding would be a fun and lighthearted experience, but the reality was much more complicated.

I flip over onto my stomach, pull my phone out, and see a message from an unknown number.

UNKNOWN: Save this number , Malyshka. Have a wonderful day with your mama and sister. Moy Krasivyy Tsvetok, I will see you later tonight.

Lina: How did you get my phone number? Anyways, I will. Moy Lev. See you tonight. Be safe.

I save his phone number, I turn to my book and finish where I left off at breakfast. The hour passes painstakingly slowly, but at 6:45 I head down to the foyer to put my coat on and lace up my boots. I grab a platok and tie it, and grab my bag. As I reach for the door, a forceful knock echoes. Swinging the door open wide, an older man with silver hair with a cigarette behind his ear greets me.

“Privet8. I am assuming you are Kalina?”

“Da9, that’s me. You are?” “Pavel,” “Privet10, Pavel.” I extend my hand, but he doesn’t take it.

“Well, miss, let's get going. I assume I'll be driving and hauling stuff around today. Mr. Igorov said to take you wherever you want.”

I make my way down the steps, he holds the door open for me. I close the door to the house and get into the car.

Pavel is silent the whole ride to my parent’s home. The only noise in the car is the sounds of the soft classical music coming from the stereo. I realize that Lenya’s home is about twenty-five minutes away from my childhood home. I thought to myself, I'll be able to visit them whenever I want because they are so close. The thought makes me happy because I don’t think I could be away from Raisa.

Papa.. he can go fuck himself. I will never speak to him again. The thought that he would try to arrange a marriage to someone who wouldn’t have my best interest enrages me.

We pull up in front of the house and Pavel blares the horn. “I could have gone and knocked on the door and gotten them! They have neighbors, Pavel,” annoyed that he honked the horn this early in the morning. “Mne zhal’11, but Mr. Igorov told me not to let you go near the steps of the house. I'm just doing what I’m told.”

Is it because he is worried my parents will try to take me back? I pulled out my phone from my bag and angrily shot him a text.

Lina: Why can't I go to the house? The driver blared on the horn at 7:50 in the morning, Lenya. They have neighbors!

Lenya: Knowing your Kusok der'ma12, Otets13 those steps are still dangerous. So no you cannot. I will not risk you falling when I am not there to catch you. I really don't want to kill him before our wedding.

Lenya: I have to go, malyshka. See you tonight.

This man sure knows how to give a girl butterflies. Not only does he want to protect me from falling, but from papa. If he only knew the hurt, that man has caused me. But as he said, he doesn’t need to kill him before our wedding. Would he afterward, though?

The last thought has me crossing myself and uttering “Gospodi, pomiluy!”14 I’m not sure how I feel about that.

Putting the thought aside, I see my mama and sister walking towards the car. Raisa waves to me excitedly! Pavel opens the door to the backseat where I sit. I scoot over and my sister dives in and pulls me to her. “It was so strange not having you home! Papa just paced around the house all night and he even skipped evening prayers.”

Raisa is talking so fast that she has to stop and take a breath. Mama slid into the seat next to Raisa, eyes cold as ice locked with mine. “What are you smiling so much about?” she snaps at me.

“I can’t be happy to see my mother and sister. I missed you both,” feeling the suspicion that she was putting out.

Mama rolls her eyes, “Good, here I thought the smile was because HE makes you happy. How could that be, though? All of this is shit,” waving her hand around.