Page 44 of Unholy Matrimony
9. my love
10. My queen
11. Fuck
12. Baby,you need to be kind to mommy.
13. Flower
Chapter twenty
Kalina
Traffic is moving at a snail's pace through the center of Moscow. Lenya’s father is blowing up his phone with texts, wondering if we are on our way, and threatening violence if he ignores him. The phone is pinging so much that I am tempted to throw the fucking thing out the window. I am sitting with the seat leaned back, with my eyes closed. The nausea isn’t as strong, thanks to the medication, but the motion of the car is not helping. Lenya is muttering curses under his breath at all the cars in traffic.
The waves of nausea are hitting me every time the car moves forward or comes to a stop. I am hoping this dinner is just a dinner. Lenya hasn’t been very present the past few days, so I am sure his father will have something to say about his absence. Stealing a glance at him, my heart aches. His forehead is knit with worry. As if he is deep in thought. “Your mind seems to be working hard. What's up?”
I reach over and run my hand over the back of his neck. He lets out a long breath. “I didn’t want to have to take you anywhere until I knew they settled things down. The job we did may have caused some fractures with Yuri’s men if they suspect it was us.”
You can see the tension in his neck. He tries to roll his shoulders to crack his neck, but it doesn’t release.
I’ll have to give him a massage later. I know that has to be uncomfortable.
The traffic has dissipated and we are on our way again. “We should be there in ten minutes,” he says to his phone. The text message is sent, and he hits the screen off.
He turns on the stereo and the speakers blast some metal band that I am not familiar with. "My parents forbid me from listening to this music," I confess. “But I would secretly listen to it whenever I would go to the bookshop cafe. The barista would have her old iPod and let me listen to all the metal music I wanted.”
A smile forms at the corner of his mouth. “Such a little rebel you were. Look at you now, married to the heir to the Borisov Bratva, pregnant with our baby. I’d say you’ve been corrupted.” What’s funny is that his words are the truth. I went from the pious church girl who had never kissed a boy to fucking my husband in the church we attend.
“I don’t think I would say I've been corrupted. Maybe my eyes are just open now and I can see heaven and hell here on earth. How they are living in some sort of fucked up harmony. How you and I are like light and darkness. Sometimes my light shines into your darkness. But sometimes your darkness overtakes my light. We just have to find the balance.”
I place my hand over his on the shifter. He looks down, takes my hand, and uses it to shift the car. We pulled up to his father's house. Even though the medication was fully in effect, I could feel the nausea building. Lenya parks the car behind some other vehicles in the carport. He gets out and heads to my side of the car. I cannot help but stare at him. The man sure can clean up. Luckily, I was sitting down because my knees would be weak. He dressed in all black to match my dress. He opens my door and holds out his hand to me, “Moy prekrasnyy Tsvetok1.” I take it.
Once inside the house, I am awestruck by how beautiful it is. It is much larger than our house but tastefully curated. Beautiful pieces of art line the walls, pottery, and even statues.
Lenya takes my coat and hangs it up in a closet right off the door. A woman approaches us. “Dobryy vecher, Leonid. Pozhaluysta, uzhin zhdet2.” She grabs onto his arm, to which he quickly removes it.
Putting distance between them, he grabs my hand and leads me to the dining room. I look at him and back at her. “Who is she, Lenya?” I press, afraid of the answer. As if he can sense my worry, he kisses my hand.
“Someone from my past. Her name is Olga, and she is vile. I regret every moment I spent with her. You never have to worry, Tsvetok3. I only have eyes for you.”
I look back at Olga as she trails behind us. We enter a large dining room where I see Leonid’s father at the head of the table. Igor stands, making his way towards us. “Good, you are finally here. For a moment, I thought you were dicking me around. Come, let’s eat. We have much to discuss.” Igor grabs my hand and leads me to the table. “Kalina.” he kissed my hand.
I swear I felt the vomit rise in my throat. “You can sit here.” Lenya grabs the chair and pushes it in for me. He takes the chair next to me, speaking to his father, “Why the fuck is Olga here?” A sinister smile spreads across Igor’s face. “Ah, well, I ran into her when I was visiting her father. She mentioned she hadn’t seen you in over a year. I figured it would be nice for us to host her for dinner. It’s only polite.”
Igor took a sip of his drink. “You were so wrapped up in her for so long. She was a regular for you, no?” I know why I was asked to attend this dinner. Igor is trying to scare me off, to make me uncomfortable by dangling Lenya’s ex in front of me.
What Igor cannot understand is that I am very secure in my place in Lenya’s life. Not even because of the baby. His love and devotion towards me speaks for itself. I grab the glass in front of me and take a sip of the water, only it’s not water. I spit the liquid back into the glass. This catches Igor’s attention.
“It’s only a little vodka, Kalina. Do not worry, we won’t tell the priest on you.” He laughs as he picks up his glass, he downs it. I place the glass back down, clearing my throat, “Could I have some water? Please.” Igor scoffs at my question and does nothing. Frustrated, Lenya stands and walks out of the room.
Returning with a pitcher of water, he grabs the empty wineglass and fills it. “Spasibo, lyubov4,” I tell him, smiling up at him. He grabs the vodka glass and shoots it, slamming it down on the table. “What did you want to talk about that was so urgent that we had to come tonight,” he barks at his father. His frustration is mounting.
Before Igor can respond, the food comes out, and Olga follows the staff. She sits on the right of Igor. She gives Lenya a seductive smile, “It’s been too long, Leo,” my muzh5 visibly cringes when she says ‘Leo’. “You just stopped calling, not a 'this is no longer working’ or ‘goodbye’, nothing. You had me worried.”
Lenya thanks the server who places his dish in front of him. “I stopped because you became irrelevant once I knew who I wanted. It wasn’t you, Olga, and it never will be.” He looks her dead in the eye as he says the last few words. Igor held up his hands. “Enough! Let’s just enjoy our meal and afterward, Lenya, you and I will talk.”
The food was delicious, my dish was lenten. Even though I no longer have to follow the fast, I eat it so it doesn’t raise any suspicion. Lenya and I briefly talked about not wanting to tell anyone about the pregnancy until I was out of the first trimester. The doctor let us know that while I am young and healthy, miscarrying can still happen. I don’t want to tell people bad news, so it's just best to wait it out.