Page 33 of Say You'll Stay
A few days later, I find myself entranced, watching the video play on mute. It’s probably not healthy, this urge to keep tabs on him—yet, this is the thirtieth loop.
I can’t help it; These glimpses into his life, they’re like a band-aid on a bullet wound barely filling the void his absence creates .
In the footage, June and his sister Judith are perched on a sailboat, their hair caught in a wild dance by the wind. Despite the chaos around them, June exudes a sense of calm and strength.
His muscular arms are visible, a huge difference to Judith’s slender frame, yet both seem at home…but whenever they were together, June is always like this. There was nothing in this world that could change the way June loves his big sister.
But what draws my gaze most is a small detail: a tattoo of the letter C, elegantly scripted just below June’s ribs clear on the taut contours of his abdomen. It’s a simple mark, yet it speaks volumes.
My breath catches in my throat, a deep sense of longing washing over me. I want nothing more than to reach out and touch his tattoo, to feel the raised ink against my fingertips. But I resist the urge, knowing that doing so would only complicate things further.
Juniper Deveaux hated the idea of a tattoo before, but now that I see it, I can’t help but wonder about the significance behind it.
Is it a tribute to me?
I want to know more, to uncover the secrets that lie beneath his skin. I want him to live in me, create with me. Fill my womb with his seed and brand me with his essence.
It’s like our souls are intertwined, and no matter how far apart we are, I can feel him.
And yet, part of me is still hesitant. What if he doesn’t feel the same way? What if I’m just fooling myself into thinking that our bond is real?
But then I remember the tattoo, the single letter “C” that he has etched into his skin. It’s a symbol, a mark that says he belongs to me - or maybe it’s the other way around. Either way, it gives me hope.
I let out a shuddering breath, my fingers continuing their descent as I imagine June’s strong arms wrapping around me, his lips pressing against mine. I can feel his breath on my skin, his body pressed against me as we make love.
As my fingers touch the fabric of my pants, I imagine June’s skilled hands guiding me, exploring every inch of my body. I close my eyes and let my mind wander, immersing myself in the fantasy of him loving me.
A soft moan escapes my lips as I let go of all my inhibitions, lost in the lustful thoughts. Images of us making a family, of June’s touch, of his love – it’s all consuming.
My body shakes with pleasure, I can’t help but wonder - is this what June feels for me? This overwhelming need, this all-encompassing love? I can’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, our souls were made for each other.
And as I lie in bed, the sweat drying on my skin, I know that I’ll do whatever it takes to be with him.
It’s not long before, I find myself back at our favorite coffee shop, trying to ignore the persistent butterflies in my stomach. I’ve summoned June here under the pretense of discussing our next steps, but the real reason for this meetup is bubbling just beneath the surface - a temptation I’ve been wrestling with for far too long.
As if summoned by my thoughts, June arrives.
Our eyes meet, a collision of want and wariness, the crackle of a connection never severed, only dormant.
“June.” My voice is steady, even as my heart threatens to beat out of my chest. “We need to talk.”
Concern etches itself across his brow. “Anything, Cara. I’m here.”
A shaky inhale, a steadying exhale. “What if… what if we tried something new? Something different this time?”
His head tilts, curiosity warring with trepidation in his gaze. “Different how?”
“Friends,” I say, the word feeling foreign on my tongue. “Friends with… benefits.”
Shock ripples across June’s features, quickly replaced by something darker, hungrier. “Benefits?” he echoes, the ghost of a smirk playing at the corner of his mouth.
I nod, holding his gaze with a boldness I barely feel. “No commitments, no demands. Just two people, finding solace in each other.”
The air between us crackles with barely restrained tension, the weight of unspoken desires hanging heavy. June’s eyes rake over me, a touch in itself, igniting every nerve ending with the promise of primal indulgence.
“Well then, my Cara Mia,” he purrs, voice dripping with seductive menace, “lead the way.”
Powerless to resist the pull, I grasp his hand, letting pure instinct guide me. We crash through the door, all desperate hands and greedy mouths, our bodies tangling in a frenzied dance of lust and longing.