Page 30 of Living with Fire
Nate is different. I don’t know why, but he is. My body’s reaction to him is proof enough of that, even if I don’t understand it.
Damn it. I know by the end of tonight I’m going to want to call Maddie to tell her all about this. There’ve only been a few instances since moving to Santa Rosé that I’ve desperately felt the need to call her and gush about an experience—something I’ve probably subconsciously set up for myself—and this is definitely going to be one of them. She would help me understand exactly what’s going on, and why I want to throw all caution to the wind and mold myself to this sexy as hell firefighter.
“Okay, before you two go eye fucking each other further—Savanna is the girl from the elevator? The one that thinks men are filthy, disgusting pigs?” Liam says, recovered from the initial shock of this information.
And damn it, I knew I hadn’t heard the last of that line. Groaning, I pull my eyes away from Nate and pick up my beer, taking a pull from it.
“If you’d just walked in on someone you’d gone on a few dates with screwing the newest intern while you were with clients, you’d think the same thing,” I tell him, and he cringes. “Especially when that someone is your boss.”
“Oh shit,” Brody mutters, and I cringe, nodding, telling them the same story I told Nate earlier today about Preston.
I end up telling them a bit about working at a wealth management firm, and how my summer was spent at the beach. They have me opening up in a way I haven’t with anyone in this city. I share that I’m from Colorado and when they ask about the mountains, I tell them how magical they are, especially after a fresh snowfall, but how the ocean is better, and that I couldn’t imagine not living near it again.
Liam asks why I left home in the first place, but all I say is I needed a change. I don’t tell them I left one day without telling a soul besides my best friend, or that I left because I was finally done putting up with abuse.
Even though I don’t share those details, I talk and share more of myself with these men than I have with anyone in the last six months, and the more I say, the lighter I feel until it seems like I’m floating on cloud nine. This is the connection I’ve been missing. The human interaction that I’ve craved so badly. It helps that these three are attentive listeners, and ask questions.
The longer I sit with them, the more I’m reminded of my own family. There’s a genuineness about them that I haven’t encountered since the last time I had family dinner. It makes my heart both ache and rejoice at the same time. A feeling of homesickness and belonging washing over me time and again in their company.
“Orders up, Nate,” Bryn says, suddenly appearing next to the table. She’s balancing a tray of full glasses, on her way to a table with them.
Nate nods and starts slipping out of the booth from beside me and I’m quick to follow suit. “I’ll come help.”
“I can handle it,” he says, turning to look at me.
“Nate, please.” I give him a chastising look. “You’re feeding me and giving me a place to stay, this is the least I can do.”
“Whoa, what?” Brody pipes up from across the table, and my head snaps in his direction, catching sight of Liam as well.
Shit.
They both look bewildered at this new development. I hadn’t considered them when it came out of my mouth, and I toss Nate an apologetic look. I didn’t want to say anything if he didn’t want to, but he’s looking at me with a smirk that says, “You got yourself into this mess, get yourself out.”
“Or you can stay and explain that,” he suggests with a laugh.
“You should do that,” Liam says, followed by Brody who adds, “I agree.”
“Not a chance.” I leave them both hanging, scrambling the rest of the way out of the booth to follow Nate to the kitchen. “I am so sorry. I didn’t even think before I said that.”
“Nothing to be sorry about,” he says, holding the swinging door open for me to follow him through. “They’d find out eventually, anyway. I didn’t want to tell them anything you weren’t comfortable with, though. Figured I’d follow your lead on all this.”
“Oh.” I stop at the pass where our four plates are sitting. “Well I think everyone should know how generous you are, so I don’t mind telling them I’m staying with you tonight.”
“Liam will take it wrong,” Nate replies distractedly, his eyes taking in the chaos of the kitchen.
“Then we’ll just have to set him straight,” I respond, laying a hand on Nate’s arm to draw his attention back to me, his warmth seeping into my fingertips. “Why don’t you let me take care of our food, and you take care of that.” I nod towards the two cooks who look extremely busy.
“I can handle it,” he tells me again, and I smile simply at him.
“I’m sure you can, but why not let me help so you can deal with your business? Remember the whole ‘I’ll jump in if they need me’ thing? It looks like they could use your help.” I spot a serving tray on another counter behind us and grab it, bringing it over to the pass to load up our plates. I can feel Nate’s eyes on me, suspicious as he watches what I’m doing, and I laugh. “Relax. I served all through college. I’m a pro at this.”
“Leave mine,” he tells me before I can pick it up. “I’ll leave it under the heating lamps until I can make it back to the table. You sure you’re going to be okay?”
I don’t think he’s talking about the plates of food I’m about to lift, and I give him an encouraging smile that I hope doesn’t show any of the uneasiness I’m feeling. Liam and Brody have made me feel comfortable, but I’m about to go in there with them wanting answers to questions for which I have no answers. I don’t want them to think I’m using Nate, or taking advantage of him. Or worse, leading him on when I can’t give him anything more than friendship.
Despite the growing attraction that seems to be reciprocated.
“I got this.”