Page 39 of Living with Fire
Then again, who am I kidding—they probably already think I’m sleeping with him.
I left Colorado for a fresh start. Okay, I left Colorado to get away from a bad situation, and go somewhere no one could find me. But it was also for a fresh start. Somewhere that no one knew who I was, or what had happened to me.
It’s taken me six months, but I finally feel like I belong somewhere, and I don’t want to give up on that feeling. I feel like I could actually make friends here, maybe even move on from everything horrible that happened. From Colorado to the fire in my apartment. I’m starting over for the second time since coming to Santa Rosé, and it’s a lot. I only have Nate and Liam’s account on what survived and didn’t survive in my apartment. And I have little clue what kind of money I’ll be making working at the bar.
If I stay at the bar. If Nate will even want me to stick around.
I don’t know that starting something with Nate in the midst of all that is something I’m capable of. Nor do I know if it would be fair to him.
A smooth, easy smile slides across Nate’s face and touches the corners of his eyes. The glass of water he’s holding touches the bar as he greets me. “Getting on okay?”
As I start pressing buttons on the point-of-sale, keying in the drink order from the four men, I nod. “Bryn has been great. I forgot how much I enjoyed serving.”
Nate hums low in his throat, peering over my shoulder at what I’m doing. He’s standing close enough that I can feel the heat from his body, but not close enough that I could lean back and touch him. “You say that now. Wait until you’ve experienced a crazy Saturday night.”
“Bring it on. I can handle it.” I glance back at him. From this distance I can see the fatigue in his eyes, even as his lips twitch upward. “Did you finish whatever you were working on? You’ve been at it for two days now.”
The curve of his lips flattens, and he runs a hand through his hair. A deep sigh has his shoulders sagging, causing me to turn towards him. “I think I’ll be working on it for a few weeks.” As quickly as his smile faltered, it’s back again. His eyes scan my entire face, drinking me in like I’m the glass of water he set down on the bar. “Just needed a break from all the paper. The change of scenery has been nice.”
I’m the change of scenery. The way he looks at me, he might as well have spoken the words aloud.
While my face tinges red, I realize that one of my “ifs” has an answer. Nate wants me to stick around. He feels this thing between us just as much as I do, and he’s as curious as I am. I think he’s equally hesitant, though, which is slightly annoying. It would be less attractive of him, and easier for me, if I had to fend off blatant advances.
“I should get back to it,” he murmurs softly, his hand raising halfway to my face before he thinks better of it and drops it to his side.
I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. Something I think he wanted to do. “Okay.”
His gaze lingers on me for another second before he turns to head back to the office, leaving me biting my bottom lip. Even though I don’t think it’s a wise idea to get involved with Nate, things with him feel different.
When Vincent and I started dating, I’d always thought something was a little off, but I was young, and loved the attention he gave me, so I ignored it. Looking back there were warning signs. Even in the honeymoon stage. With Preston, I was lonely and in need of connection. Prior to saying yes to his advances, I turned him down over and over again.
It’s not like that with Nate. Besides living and working with him, there are no blaring alarms going off in my head. There aren’t even any little red flags that I’ve found—I’ve looked. And I definitely don’t want to put him off. Not if I’m being honest with myself. It’s just what’s best for both of us. For so many reasons.
Vincent’s face creeps into my mind. The biggest reason I should steer clear of Nate.
While we may both be curious about this thing between us, I know that all I can offer Nate is my friendship. My friendship, and expertise. With those two things I’ll get rid of those tired circles beneath his eyes.
If I can do nothing else for the man who has given me so much, I can do that.
CHAPTER 15
SAVANNA
An hour later I’m standing at the doorway to the office. Nate hasn’t noticed me yet, his head buried in a box with his back to me. I take a moment to appreciate the way his shoulder blades flex and move beneath his t-shirt as he rifles through the box, looking for god knows what. My eyes, of their own accord, drift lower to his jeans, and I take a deep but quiet breath. Whatever he does in the gym, he needs to keep doing it.
Just because I know nothing should happen between us doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the view.
“Objectifying me?”
The sound of his voice startles me, a yelp of surprise flying from my lips. My eyes dart upwards to see his neck craned, head twisted to look over his shoulder. Embarrassment colors my cheeks, our conversation from the elevator replaying in my mind.
“No,” I squeak, but it’s a lie, and we both know it. He caught me red handed.
His eyebrow raises as he turns to face me, arms crossing over his broad chest. It takes everything in me not to look down at the corded muscles of his forearms that I’ve looked at one too many times.
“I wasn’t objectifying,” I double down, clearing my throat. Lifting my head high, I add, “I was appreciating.”
Nate barks out a surprised laugh, his arms dropping from in front of him. He moves to sit on the edge of his desk in the one place paper doesn’t touch. “Something I could also be accused of.”