Page 82 of Living with Fire
I shrug nonchalantly though I feel anything but. “My earbuds died. My charger was in my car.”
“Ah.” He nods like it makes perfect sense, which I know it does, but hate that he takes it at face value. The part of me that wants to tell him everything is silently pleading with him not to believe a word. “Tony’s lucky you were there.”
I’m glad one of us was.
“Yeah, I guess so, huh?” I wave a hand to shoo him out. “Go. Let me finish.”
I’ve been waiting for this. Waiting for Nate, Liam, and Brody to come back inside and go out to the bar so I could slip out the back and disappear without them knowing. I grabbed one of the knives in the kitchen to take with me in case Vincent is outside waiting, but I have a feeling he won’t be. I don’t think he would expect me to leave alone after seeing him. There would be no psychological thrill he’s looking for. His favorite thing to do was fuck with my mind until I submitted to him and snatching me in an alley wouldn’t give that to him.
I think.
I hope.
I pull out the note I hand wrote to Nate. He deserves so much more, and tears fill my eyes as I read my writing, wishing things were different. It’s shitty and short. It doesn’t give any kind of explanation, but it does tell him that everything is ready for the accountant, all he needs to do is hand over the USB.
I’m doing this for him. I will not let him put himself in harm's way because of me.
“Hey.”
The sound of a voice startles me, the USB bouncing off the desk when I drop it. I look up to find Liam standing in the doorway, and quickly avert my eyes to the floor where the drive landed.
Shit. I thought maybe Liam and Brody would come into the office with Nate, but I didn’t expect Liam to show up alone. It makes me uneasy because I’m nearly positive he saw Vincent, though I couldn’t swear to it. Even if he did that doesn’t mean he’s realized what’s going on. I know Nate hasn’t shared any of my past with Liam or Brody because he told me as much. I didn’t care at the time, but I’m damn thankful now.
“Hey,” I say back, leaning over to grab the USB from the floor. It gives me a moment to blink the tears from my eyes.
His eyes are narrowed, much like they were in the alleyway as he assesses me from where he stands. “You wanna tell me what’s going on?”
Rising back up, I bring my eyes to his, putting on my best poker face. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
Liam shoves his hands into his pockets, glances over his shoulder, then takes a few steps further into the office. “Nate might have been too busy to notice, but the thing about firefighters is when one of us is busy with one thing, others are looking out at the scene. Assessing, calculating, figuring out what else might happen. Then we do what we need to in order to prevent it.”
My blood runs cold. He’s doing exactly what he just explained to me. Assessing, calculating, trying to figure out what’s going on. He needs to stop before I cave and confess. I can’t. I can’t put any of them in more danger than I already have.
When he continues, he’s matter of fact. “We work as a unit, which is why we’re so successful at scenes. It’s how we’re trained, it’s what we do.”
It’s easier to lie to Liam, but only by a small fraction. “Liam, I’m not sure what you’re talking about. I get how firefighting works. Nate has explained it to me.”
“Something spooked you.” It’s not a question.
The words send a shiver racing down my spine. He’s too close to the truth, and it’s making me uncomfortable. “Yeah, the fact that I saw a guy almost die.”
“I know everyone thinks I’m some dumb fuck boy, but I assure you, I’m not.” Liam stares at me, weighing what I’m telling him, then drops the bomb I knew was coming. “Who was that guy? He was staring at you.”
“Liam, seriously!” I say, throwing my hands up in exasperation to try and get my point across. “I’m trying to finish this accounting stuff for Nate. I’m so close to being done. He gave me an hour to finish or he’s cutting me off for the night. Do you know the stress that will be off his shoulders once I get this done?”
For the first time since coming into the office, Liam hesitates, looking unsure of himself. Glancing at the computer, I can see the wheels switching gears in his mind.
It was my Hail Mary to get him off my case, and to keep him from asking more questions, or expecting answers I’m not about to give. I know how much he worries about Nate. He’s confessed his gratitude to me when we’ve sat at the bar together when Nate hasn’t been around.
He sags as the confidence billows out of him, along with a deep breath. “Okay. Sorry. I just… I’ve never seen you freaked out like that. Not even after Nate pulled you out of a burning building.” He gives me a tight smile. “Seemed like something else was going on, and Nate missed all of it, so I thought I’d ask you straight up.”
I smile back at him, but inside I’m screaming that he’s probably never been more right about anything in his life. “I appreciate your concern. I really do.”
Just like that, the Liam I’ve come to know and adore is back, his expression turning debonair. “Well, you’re one of us now. We take care of our own.”
I wait until he’s gone to let the tears fall, and even then I only allow a few of them.
Between Nate and Liam, I feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I just need to keep reminding myself I’m doing this for them, to keep them as safe as I possibly can.