Page 88 of Living with Fire
Brody chokes on the beer he was taking a swig out of, coughing the liquid down. My mouth gapes open at Liam and Savanna, the former with a devilish smirk, the latter with an excited gleam in her eye.
“Yes!” Savanna nods with enthusiasm. “It would be so much faster than a silent auction. We wouldn’t have to try and find prizes because you guys would be the prize. Do you know other firefighters who might be willing to participate?”
Liam doesn’t even take a second to think about it. “Definitely.”
“No,” I snarl through clenched teeth. My tone must say enough because they both finally look at me. “No to my grandparents, no to an auction. No to it all. I’ll figure it out. I can take out a personal loan and cover it.”
“Fucking hell,” Liam mutters, grabbing his beer to take a swig.
Savanna’s arms fold over her chest. “Why? Why won’t you let anyone else help you? Why would you take out a loan when you might not need to? Why put yourself in the hole like that?”
“Because I…” My eyes move from each of their three faces. The faces of three people I care a lot about. Three people I can trust in this world.
All they want to do is help—it’s all they’ve ever wanted to do. But for two of them, I’m their leader, and the third, I’m her man. And sure, maybe that sounds like something a disgusting, filthy pig would say, but fuck it, I grew up in a household where the man took care of things.
Savanna can take care of herself; she’s shown me that time and again in the few short weeks we’ve known each other. I don’t doubt her capability or competence. The woman is brilliant. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to take care of her. I want to show her that I’m also capable. Competent.
I don’t want her to see weakness.
My hands grip the edge of the island and I bow my head, closing my eyes. Accepting help isn’t something I do in my life. I took it when Savanna offered to help me with the accounting because I was helpless. I had no idea what I was doing.
And look at the stress it relieved.
I blow out a long breath. There’s no denying it took an enormous weight off my shoulders. It’s made a huge difference in my life. Savanna has made a huge difference. And now she wants to make another difference, and I’m resisting the idea.
A soft, warm hand touches my cheek, turning my face to the side. Opening my eyes, I find Savanna at my side, a tentative smile touching the corners of her lips.
“Vulnerability doesn’t need to have shame attached to it,” she whispers to me. “No one will think less of you for needing help.”
Standing upright, I angle my body towards her. Emotion that I’m unable to hide sounds thick in my voice when I ask, “What if I’ll think less of me?”
“Then we’ll remind you that you wouldn’t think less of us, so you shouldn’t think it of yourself,” she says with a tenderness I’ve not yet heard from her.
“I have no problem smacking you upside the head if you start spouting shit like that,” Liam remarks with a smirk from across the counter.
Savanna sucks her lips into her mouth to keep from giggling while I shoot him a glare. The asshole blows me a kiss, daring me to come over there. Brody stands there, beer bottle in one hand, watching it all unfold. To his credit, he doesn’t laugh, but I can see the amusement lurking across his tanned skin.
All they want to do is help. They care about me enough to want to help. For once, maybe I should allow them. Show them that sometimes I can’t do it all by myself.
Show myself that it’s okay.
I slip my arm around Savanna’s shoulder and pull her into my side, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “What do you think?” I ask, and she looks up at me, eyebrow raised. “Out of these two boneheads, who’d fetch the bigger amount?”
Savanna tosses her head back and laughs, throwing her arms around me in the process. She knows what my question truly means. I’m accepting their help. Allowing them all to come in and rescue me for once.
She gazes up at me, the terror and worry of earlier gone, replaced with a joy I had a hand in creating. “Brody,” she answers with conviction, garnering an uproar from Liam. “No question, hands down, Brody.”
And thus began the great debate.
CHAPTER 30
SAVANNA
I’m starting my fourth shift at the firehouse, and by now I know the routine. Nate drops me off in the rec area where I wait while everyone changes and gets ready for shift before their morning meeting. The first day he didn’t let me out of his sight, which worked out because I ended up joining the meeting so he and Captain Bernard could explain to the rest of the crew what I was doing there, and what was going on.
It had been intimidating telling the Captain my story, mostly because I’d never met the man before, but Nate did a good job explaining most of it, holding my hand when his boss asked me a few questions. He had no problem with me being at the firehouse as long as Nate, and everyone else, still performed their duties. He even called one of his friends at the police station who came down and had a chat with me.
The shitty thing was they couldn’t do anything about Vincent, which I’d already assumed. The cop said he would create a file including everything I’d told him. This way there would be documentation if something were to happen. It didn’t make me feel better, and I know it didn’t help Nate either, but I think we were both in the frame of mind the cops wouldn’t be able to do much at this point.